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Band 5

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age
It is argued that
children
 ought to go to school when they are very young,
while
 other people believe that it is not necessary until they get older.
This
 writer agrees with the statement and will explain why in the following essay.
To begin
 with, it is evident that education is important and
children
 must approach it at a young
age
due to
 its benefits to help
children
 become successful in the future.
Children
 should attend classes because they are taught some skills like reading and writing.
Therefore
, their foundation will be created and become sustainable.
For example
,
children
 who are educated from a very young
age
 may have a larger range of knowledge than those who are not. Another point that must be considered is that young
children
 are very vulnerable, they can be hurt when they are at school so older
age
 is more suitable for a child to attend classes.
On the other hand
,
children
 can be educated by their parents at home.
This
 become increasingly popular in many countries. From prior knowledge, parents' education may affect their
children
 more effectively than at school.
However
, the amount of awareness may be missed. In conclusion,
although
 the education of parents may be effective, it can be a lack of intelligence.
Therefore
,
children
 should be cultivated at a young
age
.
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coherence
To improve clarity and coherence in your essay, make sure to clearly organize your points. Use paragraphs effectively by starting a new paragraph for each main idea and ensure you have sufficient transition phrases to link your ideas together.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
introduction and conclusion
Work on enhancing the introduction and conclusion sections by clearly stating your main argument in the introduction and summarizing your main points in the conclusion.
language
Refine your vocabulary and grammar to avoid repetition and minor errors, which will help in achieving a higher score.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and giving an opinion.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving a sense of completeness to the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have made an effort to structure your essay with paragraphs and provided some examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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