Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, howevr, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #howevr #school #place

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Society has different views about the responsibility of disciplining

children

, some people think it relies on the parent and the family environment,

while

others believe that school plays the biggest part in creating more efficient community members.

This

essay will discuss both opinions. On the one hand, there are various reasons why some people justifiably argue about the

significance

Replace the word

significant

show examples

impact of

parents

on producing well-mannered individuals.

Children

are prone to listen to

parents

who are authoritative in the house,

for example

children

will be reluctant to do wrong actions based on their prior fear of getting punished by their

parents

Secondly

, youngsters have an emotional bond with their

parents

therefore

, it makes guidance easier and more acceptable to

children

For instance

, the safe space that

parents

provide for their

children

to be vulnerable and express their worries,

Hence

parents

can give timely advice, which is one of the most critical factors in deterring

children

from going down the wrong path.

On the other hand

, another group claims that to form

children

's characters, schools are the best place to contribute.

Children

spend a tremendous amount of time in school,

therefore

, teachers can be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

to students and

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

them the rights and wrongs in every aspect of life.

Also

, teachers can be more strict than

parents

due to

the emotional connection a child and a parent have.

Moreover

Change preposition

apply

show examples

attending various types of classes that may fruit in a child's choice of career and life path,

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is beneficial to

children

in becoming well-rounded individuals in the future.

To conclude

, in my opinion, schools play a vital role in educating

children

and discovering their professional inclinations.

Parents

play the same role in different ways for

children

's growth.

As a result

, we should keep both methods to ensure that

children

get a comprehensive education and guidance.

Submitted by Ayreen🍒 on Mon Jul 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point to be discussed.

task achievement

Try to avoid repetitive vocabulary and phrases. Instead, use a wider range of synonyms to demonstrate lexical resource.

task achievement

Proofread to eliminate minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'the significance impact' and 'therefore, it makes guidance easier.'

coherence cohesion

The introduction sets up the discussion well by clearly stating the topic and the two viewpoints to be discussed.

task achievement

The essay covers both viewpoints adequately and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion, fulfilling the task requirements.

task achievement

Examples and reasoning given in each paragraph support the main points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, howevr, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

These days Internet-based courses have become a popular alternative to university-based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argure that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Maby people have credit card, a mortgage and often they buy a car on credit card as well. Is this a good idea or this is too risky? Discuss both views abd give your own opinion.

Traffic on roads has become a problem in nearly every country in the world. What can be done to reduce the amount of traffic at a society level and at an individual level?