Nowadays on-line shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Write an essay to discuss the effect of online shopping. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, online shopping has been of great concern to the public. Nowadays, e-shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? In

this

essay, I will discuss both these views and give my opinion. On the one hand, there are some reasons why home shopping is more attractive than in-store shopping.

Firstly

, you only need a few simple steps to purchase.

For example

, if you want to buy clothes on Shopee, you just need to go to that website, choose the item you want, and press the buy button and you're done. That saves a lot of time.

Secondly

, there are a variety of products for you to choose from when shopping online like clothes, books, cosmetics, and housewares,…

Finally

, when you hunt for a discount code or voucher, you will be able to get free shipping or buy the items you need at cheaper prices than usual.

Therefore

, online shopping is good for people.

On the other hand

, there are several reasons why e-shopping

also

has some harmful effects. To start with, you will not be able to directly see the item you want to buy, so you will not be sure about the quality of the item.

Besides

, you may be scammed by receiving fake or defective goods. In

this

way, home shopping is rather bad for people. All in all, people have differing views about online shopping. Considering all the points mentioned above, it seems to me that the first opinion is more concerning than the second one.

Submitted by thuhong.68hnue on Fri May 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance the logical structure of your essay, try to organize each paragraph clearly with a topic sentence and then support it with related points and examples.

task achievement

Work on developing your ideas more fully in each paragraph. Provide more comprehensive explanations and relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

Your essay could benefit from a stronger thesis statement in the introduction. Clearly state your position on whether online shopping is a positive or negative development and summarize the main points you will discuss.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, giving your essay a balanced structure.

task achievement

You have identified and discussed both positive and negative aspects of online shopping, which shows a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Nowadays on-line shopping has become more popular than in-store shopping. Is it a positive or a negative development? Write an essay to discuss the effect of online shopping. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age and should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree with? Why?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Blood sports have become a hot Topic for debate in recent years. As Society develops, it is increasingly seen as an uncivilised activity and cruel to the animals that are killed. All sports animals should be banned discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people want the government to spend more money for looking life on other planets; however, others think that it is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both views and give your opinion.