IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Is it Better for Young People to Get Advice from Older People or Younger People?

In
this
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 essay, I will discuss whether it is better for young
people
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 to get
advice
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 from older
people
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, or if age does not really matter when it comes to giving good
advice
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. In my opinion, I agree that it is better for young
people
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 to get
advice
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 from older
people
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.
This
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 is because older
people
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 usually have more life experience.
For example
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, if I want
advice
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 on how to get a great job, I would rather ask someone who has worked in different places and tried many jobs. They can tell me what worked for them and what didn’t.
On the other hand
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, a younger person who only had one good job might have just been lucky, and may not have much experience to share.
However
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, some
people
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 believe it is better to get
advice
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 from younger
people
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. They say that younger
people
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 are more
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 and understand the modern world better.
For example
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, if you are a student, you might get better
advice
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 from someone who is currently studying, rather than from someone who finished school many years ago.
This
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 is because things change quickly.
To conclude
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, I believe that both older and younger
people
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 can give useful
advice
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, depending on the situation. Some older
people
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 may not give the best
advice
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, and some younger
people
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 might be very wise and helpful. Sometimes, you may find that an older person,
due to
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lack
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a lack
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 of understanding of the current ideas in circulation,
they
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apply
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may give the wrong
advice
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.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the central argument more clearly in your introduction to ensure that the reader understands your position right away.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas and make transitions smoother between points.
Task Achievement
Expand on your examples to provide deeper insights or more specific scenarios that illustrate your points better.
Content
Good use of examples to support your viewpoint, particularly about job advice.
Structure
Clear conclusion that reflects your opinion and summarizes the discussion well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life experience
  • practical solutions
  • broader perspective
  • wisdom
  • long-term consequences
  • foresight
  • limited life experience
  • contemporary issues
  • rapidly evolving world
  • innovative solutions
  • modern thinking
  • fresh ideas
  • timeless wisdom
  • combination of advice
  • merges experience with contemporary insight
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