Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are some justifications that educational institutions should equal the figures of both genders in each subject. From prior knowledge,
this
writer argues that balancing male and female
recruitments
Fix the agreement mistake
recruitment
show examples
is impossible
due to
gender
preference and depending on abilities. It is vital to understand that each person has different interests. To be specific, male or female
students
are allowed to make their own choices and take responsibility for their future so the figure of enrollments in every subject often experiences the gap between the two genders.
Therefore
, It is unacceptable when individuals lose their opportunities to pursue their careers
due to
the overnumber of
students
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
gender
. Take Science
universities
as a prime example where the number of male
students
regularly overwhelms females,
in contrast
with Social ones.
This
is evident that people have a chance to study the discipline they like and not be prevented
due to
gender
balance. Another factor worth considering is that dwellers are recommended to try hard to achieve a place in
universities
, regardless of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
gender
. To be more specific , the original purpose of enrolling in a university entrance based on academic performance
nor
Correct word choice
or
show examples
equal
gender
opportunities.
Students
have to try their best and devote a great deal of time to studying with no exception.
Therefore
,
universities
should focus on fostering knowledgeable
students
instead
of trying to balance the number of
boy
Fix the agreement mistake
boys
show examples
and
girl
Fix the agreement mistake
girls
show examples
students
. In conclusion, the writers disagree with the acceptance of keeping the same amount of females and males in education when each person has a different intention for the future and ability. It is suggested that
universities
treat fairly with
studentsfairly
Correct your spelling
students fairly
, do not need to equal number of boys and girls,
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You should refine your introduction and conclusion to make them more impactful and clear. The introduction should clearly state your stance, and the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively. This would enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical flow of your essay. Though your main points are clear, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your arguments and make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear, comprehensive ideas throughout your essay. Some of your arguments, such as the idea of people trying hard to enter university regardless of gender, could be more deeply elaborated.
task achievement
Support your main points with more relevant examples. While your example about Science and Social universities is relevant, adding more varied examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the essay prompt and given a clear stance on the issue. Your main points are relevant and support your perspective well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main point. This helps in maintaining the logical structure of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: