More and more people are relying  on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Without clean oxygen, humans cannot live on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.Many human beings are currently using private vehicles as the only convenient
transport
system,
however
,
cars
can cause some drawbacks around the world
such
as
pollution
and it is
also
expensive to use.
Thus
, the government must introduce electric
cars
with less
pollution
.
To begin
with, vans can pollute oxygen which is important to human lives,
then
if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
intoxicated air, they will suffer from lung diseases
such
as lung cancer.An example to illustrate that could be in my native country Zimbabwe,
almost
Rephrase
where almost
show examples
35
per cer
Correct your spelling
per cent
of the population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
suffering from diseases which are coming from inhaling fumes of the vehicles.
Therefore
, the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
should ban all diesel and petrol engines and
then
introduce electric
cars
.
This
can be done to reduce or even stop air
pollution
around the nation, at the same time, the society will remain healthy.
Moreover
, using autos as a major type of
transport
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be expensive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the community.
This
is clearly shown by those who are using
auto mobiles
Correct your spelling
automobiles
show examples
to and from their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since they
are suppose
Change the verb form
are supposed
show examples
to buy fuel almost every day.
For example
, people in London,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are complaining about using private motors because they are using more money on their
cars
for insurance,
maintainance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
as well as
buying gas.
Additionally
, the administration should
also
provide many electric public
transport
such
buses
Change preposition
as buses
show examples
and city trams to help all civil servants.
To conclude
, using motor vehicles as a means of
transpotation
Correct your spelling
transportation
nowadays it's very expensive, and it can cause some diseases
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, meanwhile, the state must introduce electric public
transport
to reduce air
pollution
.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and presents some relevant points, but it can benefit from more detailed explanations and support for each argument. Try to expand on each point to provide more depth.
coherence cohesion
There are some coherence and cohesion issues. Ensure seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, avoid abrupt endings and try to connect your conclusion more naturally to the main body.
general
Focus on proofreading your essay for grammatical errors and improving sentence structure to make your arguments clearer and more precise.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps in delivering the message logically.
task achievement
You have provided specific examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
task achievement
The main points are clearly identified and relevant to the topic, addressing multiple aspects of the issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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