Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, a large number of nations are likely to observe the same movie industry, style of fashion, brands, advertisements
also
the sort of TV channels. Despite the benefits of exposure to the same culture, it is outweighed by the significant drawbacks. It can be recognized that consuming the same cultural videos would make many values of national civilization go down as no
one
would attend or even remember them. The reason for losing their culture is because of the influence of the outside civilization, as the international
one
developed successfully it will dominate the other nation’s civilization or worse it would be removed. Take Vietnam as an example, many teenagers nowadays interact too soon with the outside perception, leading to some of these youth forgetting about their own holidays and cultures,
this
is the result of the international
one
growing too popular.
However
, watching these outside cultural films and others can improve our connection through communication. Listening and watching those, people could learn most of the languages from it,
moreover
, it can improve relationships from both sides as they could find out their hobbies. But these could
also
lead to a serious problem, an inappropriate problem
such
as scamming or exposing personal profiles to outside if had contact with the fake
one
.
To conclude
, watching many other shows similar to another region could improve the communication between countries but
this
would be outweighed by its possible drawbacks of losing their cultural image or risky communication.
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points by providing additional supporting details and examples. For instance, when discussing the benefits of exposure to international culture, you can include other aspects such as technology, cuisine, etc.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Consider using more transition words and phrases to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
grammar and vocabulary
There are some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing that can be improved. For instance, instead of saying "many values of national civilization go down," you could say "many aspects of national culture decline."
task achievement
You have effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear conclusion which summarizes your main points.
task achievement
You have made a good effort to balance both the advantages and disadvantages of globalization, showing a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Homogenization
  • Erode
  • Global Heritage
  • Multinational Companies
  • Economic Disparities
  • Linguistic Diversity
  • Global Community
  • Social Cohesion
  • Dissemination of Information
  • Cultural Exchange
  • Artistic Expressions
  • Local Customs
  • Dominant Languages
  • Prevalent
  • Global Brands
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