many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A large number of criminals who serve their first punishment, leave

prison

only to re-offend.

This

is mainly

due to

the poor

rehabilitation

and lack of proper employment once released, which can be tackled by not only training them with useful skills but

also

keeping proper track of released

prisoners

Firstly

, the major reason behind the criminals re-committing the crimes is

due to

lack of proper

rehabilitation

whilst in

prison

. In simple words, the

prisoners

are met with other

prisoners

which only shapes their minds on more criminal activities rather than giving them a chance to have a deeper understanding of the moral

values

and responsibilities.

Secondly

, repeat offending of the crime is

also

owing to the difficulty in finding proper employment for their livelihood. Serving long in

prison

consequent to their struggle with financial problems,

therefore

leading them to commit another crime. An effective solution to tackle

this

problem would be establishing a proper

rehabilitation

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

where the

prisoners

can learn new skills, and moral

values

, and recognize the importance of moral

values

. A better

rehabilitation

center helps them learn new skills for their employment once they complete serving their sentence

as well as

be conscious of the societal norms and

values

. Another approach to

this

issue would be keeping proper track of the released

prisoners

so that it prevents the criminals from not only committing any

further

crimes but

also

making them think twice before doing something. In conclusion, having training in the

prison

and closely keeping track of the released lawbreakers are the effective steps to take in

this

issue.

Submitted by mr.jailybaev on Tue May 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to incorporate specific examples that illustrate your points more effectively. For example, mentioning specific successful rehabilitation programs or statistics about reoffending rates could improve your essay.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured, try to ensure each idea flows more smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can help with this.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining focus on the main topic.

task achievement

The response covers all parts of the prompt adequately, discussing both causes and potential solutions to the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?
Widely use of internet allowed people get primary data at few seconds. Although it is effective and convinient, it not perfectly use for young people, especially it allow some unsupervised access, and it should take action to control the inapproprate using of internet.
5.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
Most contemporary economies have cultivated the self-employment model, which appears very tempting for many. However the vast majority of society adheres to the old-fashioned hierarchy system. This essay will elaborate the key factors as to why some might prefer entrepreneurship and major drawbacks to it.
4.5
band
Write an essay about the main problems teenagers have in your country. Describe them, and explain their causes and suggest possible solutions.
Teen age should be a remarkable time of anyone, however teenagers seems to have a lot of problems more than joyful times. In my country, most of teenagers are in troubles with academic pressure, choosing post education programs and being influenced by peers.
5.5
band
Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion
It is important to unwind after a long duty. Some individuals choose physical activities to relax rather than other people who prefer brain activities such as puzzles or playing chess. From my perspective, it depend on person to person, because the methods of relaxation are different for everyone. I will support my opinion with arguments in the essay below.
7.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Music is considered the greatest bridge between individuals with diverse cultures and ages. I strongly believe this assumption since this type of art can improve cooperation skills and emotional connections.

many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet. What problems may this trend lead to? What solutions would you recomend?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Write an essay about the main problems teenagers have in your country. Describe them, and explain their causes and suggest possible solutions.

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?