many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

A large number of criminals who serve their first punishment, leave

prison

only to re-offend.

This

is mainly

due to

the poor

rehabilitation

and lack of proper employment once released, which can be tackled by not only training them with useful skills but

also

keeping proper track of released

prisoners

Firstly

, the major reason behind the criminals re-committing the crimes is

due to

lack of proper

rehabilitation

whilst in

prison

. In simple words, the

prisoners

are met with other

prisoners

which only shapes their minds on more criminal activities rather than giving them a chance to have a deeper understanding of the moral

values

and responsibilities.

Secondly

, repeat offending of the crime is

also

owing to the difficulty in finding proper employment for their livelihood. Serving long in

prison

consequent to their struggle with financial problems,

therefore

leading them to commit another crime. An effective solution to tackle

this

problem would be establishing a proper

rehabilitation

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

where the

prisoners

can learn new skills, and moral

values

, and recognize the importance of moral

values

. A better

rehabilitation

center helps them learn new skills for their employment once they complete serving their sentence

as well as

be conscious of the societal norms and

values

. Another approach to

this

issue would be keeping proper track of the released

prisoners

so that it prevents the criminals from not only committing any

further

crimes but

also

making them think twice before doing something. In conclusion, having training in the

prison

and closely keeping track of the released lawbreakers are the effective steps to take in

this

issue.

Submitted by mr.jailybaev on Tue May 28 2024

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task achievement

Try to incorporate specific examples that illustrate your points more effectively. For example, mentioning specific successful rehabilitation programs or statistics about reoffending rates could improve your essay.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured, try to ensure each idea flows more smoothly into the next. Using more transitional phrases can help with this.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in maintaining focus on the main topic.

task achievement

The response covers all parts of the prompt adequately, discussing both causes and potential solutions to the problem.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

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many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

In today's world, many pople own a smartphone.Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinge upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast foods. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?