IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

#countries #people #food
In today's society era, foreigner's meal is more high-rated than local cooking.
According to
 the writer’s opinion,
this
 is because imported food has better standards, and guarantees the cooking’s quality and safety.
Additionally
, buying local meals will support the government and improve the quality of the community’s bread. It is evident that foreign bread ensures quality and safety for customers.
This
 is because
this
 foodstuff must pass many tests of eating and drinking safety groups when it reaches to own country before selling in service. Imported food contains a high source of nutrition is the main reason that makes the community more attractive.
This
 is because many foreign states have various unique climates or special geographical locations that produce better standards of food than other countries.
According to
 scientists’ research, the public, who usually buy and use exotic meals as a balanced diet, live healthier than people who use local foodstuff.
Therefore
, individuals keen on buying
this
 transported bread because of its benefits on diet and security.
However
, there are many measures that can be implemented to persuade clients to purchase local merchandise. The most important thing is that experts should inform customers of the negative implications of imported goods for human health.
For example
, because of long-haul transportation, commodities produced in other regions need to use artificial preservatives to keep them fresh. Another solution is that local vendors and companies should improve their images and packaging.
For instance
, they ought to invest in marketing campaigns to promote products through different types of media,
such
 as television, social networking sites, radio, and leaflets. In conclusion,
while
 there are many reasons why customers choose to buy imported commodities, some measures should be adopted by local farmers to meet
this
 challenge.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Improve the accuracy of language by addressing minor grammatical and lexical errors. For example, 'foreigner's meal' should be 'imported food,' and 'community’s bread' should be 'community’s food.'
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of ideas by clearly linking each paragraph to the main topic of the essay. This will help in achieving better logical structure and coherence. For instance, start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main question.
task achievement
Use more relevant and specific examples to support the main points. Currently, some points are too general and would benefit from detailed examples that illustrate the argument more clearly.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The writer effectively discusses both the reasons why people prefer imported food and possible solutions to encourage local food consumption, addressing the task requirements adequately.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allure
  • novelty
  • diversity
  • perception
  • premium
  • globalization
  • cuisines
  • economic factors
  • subsidies
  • tariffs
  • competitive
  • farm-to-table
  • eco-conscious
  • consumption
  • sustainability
  • local economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: