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Writing Samples
Band 6

In today's world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
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Today, most of the scientific
research
 is being invested in and undertaken by independent firms.
while
 I accept that
this
 issue may have some drawbacks, I strongly believe that its benefits are greater. On the one hand, there is a wide range of disadvantages to science-related
studies
 conducted by private organizations.
Firstly
, the
government
 may fail to control all the
research
 activities if companies owned by individuals are utterly empowered to do important
research
.
This
 will
beget
Verb problem
have
show examples
 severe effects on society.
For example
, illegal experiments on animals will not only pose the threat of species extinction but
also
 affect the ecosystem seriously.
Or some
Correct word choice
Some
show examples
studies
 on nuclear or radiation may contribute to a polluted environment
as well as
 people's health unless they are appropriately controlled. And contagious diseases will be widely spread once medical experiments are ill-performed.
Secondly
, the
government
 will not get any business interest but tax. Companies can receive a huge amount of money and gain a reputation when they succeed in scientific
research
, they only pay a small amount of tax to the
government
instead
.
On the other hand
, I would argue that the downsides are outweighed by the upsides. The first advantage is that people will get benefits from successful
studies
.
For instance
, vaccines against the
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic have protected people from being infected, and universe-related
studies
 enable humans to travel outer space. The second advantage is that the
government
 puts its name on the map in case a new scientific discovery is made. There will be more foreign investments, which boosts economic growth.
Last
 but not least, these accomplishments will encourage the
government
 and companies to cooperate in terms of
further
 scientific
research
. In conclusion,
while
 private-conducted scientific
studies
 may have some negative aspects, I believe they are outweighed by the more significant positive aspects.
Submitted by trminhchau27 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is expanded upon with further explanation or examples.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include an introduction that clearly states your position and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the support for your main points. Use more specific examples and make sure that the examples are directly related to the point you are trying to make.
task achievement
Respond fully to all parts of the task. Ensure that both sides of the argument are discussed and that your opinion is clear.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Provide more details or examples to fully convey your perspective on the issue.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to illustrate your points. Avoid general statements and try to provide concrete evidence whenever possible.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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