IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The diagramm below illustrate how recylced paper is made.

#diagramm #paper
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The diagram gives detailed information about how the process by which
paper
 is manufactured from used
paper
.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 that are several stages in the production of
paper
 starting with delivering
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
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 and ending with making
paper
. It is
also
 worth mentioning that advanced technologies
such
 as
conveyr
Correct your spelling
conveyor
conveyer
belt
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belts
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 and
roller
Fix the agreement mistake
rollers
show examples
 can be observed in the process. Looking at the process in detail, the procedure begins used
paper
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 delivered to
Add an article
a conveyer
the conveyer
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conveyer
Replace the word
conveyor
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 belt ,
then
paper
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the paper
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 is filtered with water chemicals.  After
paper
Add an article
the paper
a paper
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 is cleaned,
paper
Correct article usage
the paper
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 is washed
mix
Wrong verb form
by mixing
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 water-soap and air . Next step Cleaning
paper
 is put again  water-soap. The
last
 step
cleaning
Change preposition
of cleaning
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 is
Correct article usage
the delivered
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delivered
Wrong verb form
delivering
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conveyer
Correct article usage
the conveyer
show examples
 belt and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
heated rollers .
Then
  varieties of
paper
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 manufactured.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Coherence
You should focus on organizing your ideas more clearly so that each stage of the process is easy to follow for the reader. Consider breaking down the process into smaller, more manageable parts and using linking words to show the sequence of steps.
Cohesion
Make sure to review your essay for grammatical errors, such as missing articles (“the conveyer belt”) or issues in verb forms (“begins used paper is delivered” should be corrected to “begins with used paper being delivered”).
Task Achievement
Try to provide more detailed explanations at each step of the process as well as specific examples to support your descriptions.
Task Achievement
Ensure you have a strong, clear introduction and conclusion. Currently, the introduction and conclusion do not clearly set the context or summarize the main stages of the process.
Coherence
You have a good understanding of the topic and the various stages involved in the process.
Task Achievement
You have made an effort to explain the key steps in the paper recycling process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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