IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can we do to address these problems?

#humans #environment #address
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It is widely argued that the deterioration of environmental quality stems from human activities nowadays.
This
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 essay attempts to shed light on the ways in which humans are destroying the environment before outlining several viable remedies that could be adopted to tackle
this
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 worrying issue. There is sufficient evidence to infer that the natural environment is being wrecked by human activities.
Firstly
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, the use of
energy
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sources
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 in production is attributable to many environmental problems. To simplify, the combustion of fossil fuels from producing freight releases massive exhaust emissions into the air.
Consequently
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, climate change is unequivocal,
therefore
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 causing air pollution in the surrounding areas.
Moreover
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, the scenario of overly exploiting nature,
such
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 as forests, occurs densely throughout the globe.
This
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 negative trend could have an undesirable influence on the natural habitats of local animals and eventually lead to the demise of thousands of species, especially endangered ones, namely chimpanzees in North Africa. To combat the unfavourable consequences of the aforementioned issues, it is advisable for both governments and individuals to deploy the following solutions: One viable measure is that the official state should research and introduce carbon-free
energy
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sources
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, namely wind and solar
energy
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.
In other words
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, eco-friendly power
sources
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 have an extremely low carbon footprint compared to carbon-intensive
energy
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sources
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,
such
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 as oil and coal, which could greatly mitigate the problem of air pollution. Another measure is that people should be encouraged to raise public awareness through some campaigns related to the environment.
This
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 content could include a variety of benefits that people earn from nature,
together with
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 some useful ways to protect it.
As a result
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,
this
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 acts as a precursor to giving a chance to the residents, giving a hand in utilising the living areas to become cleaner and cleaner over time. In conclusion, the overuse of unrenewable
energy
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 and exploiting nature are the underlying motives behind major environmental issues, and it is of paramount importance that several solutions be universally implemented to help save the planet.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure to maintain clarity across all your points; doing this consistently will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
It would be helpful to integrate transitional phrases between some of your paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Your examples, such as those related to fossil fuels and endangered species, are relevant and specific, which strengthens your arguments.
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