There are more workers working from home and more students studying from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The increasing affordability of modem technologies
such
as computers and smartphones has facilitated teleworking and virtual learning. As such
, there has been a progressive increase in the number of remote workers and learners in many parts of the world. While
the shift towards working and studying from home
may cause some problems, the overall
impact has been tremendously positive.
Admittedly, the drawbacks of remote working and learning are evident. As for the former, teleworkers are more susceptible to psychological problems such
as boredom and depression due to
the lack of face-to-face interaction with their colleagues. In addition
, adults who opt for working from home
for childcare reasons tend to find it hard to concentrate on their work, hence
lower productivity. Similar challenges are found in internet-based learning. Online lessons lack the element of competition that traditional classes offer, and there is inevitably less direct interaction between students and teachers. These factors may negatively affect students’ motivation to study, leading to lower academic results.
Despite the negatives mentioned above, the benefits of the trend towards learning and working remotely are more significant. On an individual level, while
distant learners can study whenever and wherever is convenient, teleworkers can still take care of their children or elderly members and earn money at the same time. They also
have complete freedom to design their learning and working environment to best suit their personal preferences and needs, enhancing their productivity and creativity. On a business level, institutions and companies allowing distance learning and remote working can reduce operation costs in the form of fewer classrooms and offices, and lower electricity bills.
In conclusion. I believe that the advantages of the decision to study or work from home
outweigh the disadvantages. provided that virtual learners and teleworkers eliminate possible distractions at home
and socialize with their neighbours and friends so that their productivity and mental health are not affected.Submitted by lenam2k1 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of working and studying from home. However, to further strengthen your argument, consider incorporating more specific examples and data.
task achievement
While the main ideas are clearly expressed, some points could be expanded upon for greater clarity. For instance, elaborating on how exactly virtual learners can eliminate distractions might provide more depth to your conclusions.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's logical structure is strong, and you effectively use transitional phrases to connect your ideas. However, ensure that every argument is seamlessly linked back to the main thesis in each paragraph to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
You provide a clear introduction and conclusion, which succinctly frame your essay. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates directly to the thesis, which will make your arguments even more compelling.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a strong ability to provide a balanced view by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of remote working and learning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your discussion and arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your ideas is commendable, and your use of transitional phrases adds to the overall coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.