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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#developments
Nowadays, it is apparent that science is well embedded into agriculture, with the objective of providing high benefits for humans.
This
 essay completely agrees with that statement. I believe the integration of scientific research and farming offers more
food
 options and
also
 cultivates a healing influence for individuals.
To begin
 with, most of the
food
 options we have today are a result of grafting, which is the fusion of two or more seeds together to produce more edible substances for people to consume.
This
 discovery is crucial in a society where starvation is a significant issue.
For example
, in 1990,
according to
 the World Health Organization (WHO), hunger was so severe that many people died. The development of corn, which was enhanced through cross-breeding, proliferated,
thus
 generating more
food
 and mitigating
food
 scarcity.
Furthermore
, herbal medicines have increased in recent times because of the incorporation of science and farming. To illustrate, when reading the ingredients of medications, it is evident that most of them are derived from plants.
For instance
, in 2002, it was discovered that a potential cure for blood cancer came from the leaf of the banana plant. Continuous experimentation has demonstrated that
such
 implementations are indeed effective.
To conclude
, I strongly commend the experimentation conducted by scientists on plants.
This
 approach not only ensures
food
 security, especially during periods of famine
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 helps the sick, thereby reducing morbidity and mortality rates in society.
Submitted by adebimpeanimawun on

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coherence cohesion
In the introduction, clearly state your position on the topic. It's clear now, but emphasizing it can add clarity to your essay.
coherence cohesion
To increase coherence, you can use transition words or phrases to link your ideas more explicitly.
task achievement
You have good examples, but make sure they are strongly tied to your main points. Explain how each example directly supports your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are mostly clear, some sentences can be more concise to avoid any misinterpretation.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples that help support your points, which adds strength to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. This makes it easy for the reader to understand your main points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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