Many believe that young people should spend more of their time with their family instead of other entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?

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The major part of society is of the idea that rather than spending
time
Use synonyms
on the internet for the purpose of entertainment, youngsters should be spending it with their families. I strongly agree with the statement. The statements supporting my opinion will be in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, a better understanding of incidences in the past and the origin of an individual can only be known from the family members themselves.
Although
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, information about any historical event can be found over the internet the true story can only be narrated by those who have lived through that moment. In India,
for instance
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, in the year 1984, a genocide took place in which the families who practised the religion of Sikhism were brutally killed.
Thus
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, it is the old people of those families who could explain the truth to the youngsters and the next generations. Another reason is that spending
time
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together enhances the bond between the members of the family. Having good bonds with the family creates a sense of self-esteem among the children.
Moreover
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, the content for entertainment on all sources like television and social media platforms is not always appropriate for children as there is no advisory for the shows.
Thus
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, if a child spends
time
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with the parents rather than social media no
such
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problem arises.
To conclude
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, there are numerous values that a person can learn by spending
time
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with their family which cannot be replaced by any other form of media.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear roadmap in your introduction by outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your main points are clearly linked and flow logically from one to another. Transitional phrases could be used to improve clarity.
task achievement
Elaborate on your ideas further and provide more relevant examples to strengthen your argument and engagement.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion and offers valid reasons supporting your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a solid conclusion that summarizes your main argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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