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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

4 pie charts show information about public complaints from 4 cities

4 pie charts show information about public complaints from 4 cities
Presented for consideration are four pie charts illustrating the proportion of
complaints
Use synonyms
 from 4 metropolitan areas over the world.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the number of
complaints
Use synonyms
 about
traffic
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
noise
Use synonyms
 always overwhelmed 2 other reasons in all cities.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most people are unsatisfied with
traffic
Use synonyms
 issues,
while
Linking Words
 in New Orleans, where
noise
Use synonyms
 was complained the most. Beginning with
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and
Vegas
Use synonyms
, where both have figures of
traffic
Use synonyms
 over half, accounting for 55% and 56%, respectively.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the statistics of
noise
Use synonyms
 were much lower, where
Sydney
Use synonyms
 recorded one-fourth and
Vegas
Use synonyms
 accounted for 28%. Behind
this
Linking Words
 level was the housing cost, in
Sydney
Use synonyms
, 15% of people complained about
this
Linking Words
 issue, and
Vegas
Use synonyms
 was lower with 12%. With respect to litter, there was the least concern about
this
Linking Words
 issue, where
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and
Vegas
Use synonyms
 just stood at 5% and 4% in that order. Turning to Florence, where
traffic
Use synonyms
 dominated at 52%, the number of
complaints
Use synonyms
 about
noise
Use synonyms
 shared the same percentage as housing cost, accounting for 20%,
while
Linking Words
 litter just stood at 8%.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to 3 other cities, New Orleans witnessed the most
complaints
Use synonyms
 from
noise
Use synonyms
 with 55%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
traffic
Use synonyms
 just reported half of the
noise
Use synonyms
 figure, at 27%. In reference to housing
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
, it was a complaint by 14% of people, and litter stood at 4%, making
this
Linking Words
 the lowest figure in all cities.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words complaints, traffic, noise, sydney, vegas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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