Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

this
Change preposition
In this
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day and age, the majority of
museums
require admission
fees
though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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free
entrance
still
maintains
Wrong verb form
maintained
show examples
in others. In my opinion,
although
there are both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
topic ,the permission of
entrance
fees
can be beneficial and the benefits
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the drawbacks on one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
the great advantage of paying for the
entrance
is that
museums
will have a lucrative profit to pay for the staff, maintain
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
show examples
and serve restoration
also
conservation work so that they can give better services
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
visitors .
in
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
receiving money
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
the admission
fees
allow
museums
more proactive in
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
antiques
Change the noun form
antique
show examples
relics, don't have to rely on the sponsor of government
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
the disadvantages of charging
fees
have
shown
Add a missing verb
been shown
show examples
inadequate
such
as
to prevent
Change the verb form
preventing
show examples
the poor people who don't have the ability to pay for the
entrance
form access to the cultural and historical knowledge of one country,
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
people's interest in visiting public works in summary,
although
have both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pros and cons
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Strongly believe that the positive benefits
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
outweigh the negative benefits of requiring admission
fees
from visitors as not only maintain the
museums
but
also
contribute to the country's economy
Submitted by tdkhadhsg on

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coherence cohesion
To achieve a higher score, it is important to organize your ideas clearly and logically. Make sure each paragraph has a clear focus and flows smoothly to the next one.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented. The introduction should set the scene, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
To strengthen your task response, make your arguments more specific and provide relevant examples to support your main points. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Try to present your ideas more comprehensively and clearly. Avoid vague statements and elaborate on your points with more detail.
coherence cohesion
You have clearly stated your position on the topic in the introduction and have given reasons for your viewpoint.
task achievement
You've made an effort to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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