You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Many pieces of research done by scientists are focused on
animals
. According to
them, experimentation with these species is more practical because their bodies are quite similar to humans. while
some people believe that it is not fair to use animals
for research purposes, others are in favor
of applying tests on them. In my opinion, Change the spelling
favour
animals
must not be tortured to realize experimentation because they deserve to live and feel the same pain
as humans.
To begin
with, animals
deserve to live. Like humanity, animals
also
have their lifetime, family, friends, and descendants. They play an important role in their community and build strong ties with their peers. killing one of them,
affects the members of their community. Remove the comma
apply
For instance
, some mice used to do study could have babies to nurture. In addition
, animals
communicate with each other as people and have a responsibility towards their families. when they died, it created a disbalance among communities.
On the other hand
, wild creatures feel pain
in the same way as humans. when scientists do their tests on mice or gorilla
, they hurt them with sharpened instruments and remove some vital organs which can be terribly painful for the poor species. they should be empathetic Fix the agreement mistake
gorillas
while
doing these kinds of practices because whether it is a mouse or a human, they all breathe, eat, and sleep. Therefore
they also
feel pain
in the same way.
To sum up
, animals
must not be subject to experimentation because they deserve to live and also
feel pain
as people.Submitted by ibamba88 on
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in Task Achievement, ensure that you address both parts of the essay prompt. Currently, the essay focuses solely on the ethical aspect of animal experimentation and its impact on animals. It would be beneficial to provide a more balanced discussion by also addressing whether there are justified reasons for animal experimentation and evaluating potential alternatives.
coherence cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly with clear connections between ideas. While your essay presents a logical structure, transitional phrases could be effectively used to link different points and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While you have an introduction and conclusion, the conclusion could be slightly more developed. Summarize the main points discussed and reinforce your stance. Briefly mention both sides of the argument before ending with your final viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear standpoint against animal experimentation and provides reasons for this view, such as the ethical implications and the pain experienced by animals.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task achievement
The essay shows empathy toward animals, which adds an emotional dimension to the argument, making it engaging for the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example