IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer In your letter • remind your employer what the course was about • explain why the course was useful to you in your work • suggest why the course may be suitable for some of your 5.

#course #work #employer #feedback
I am writing to share about the course I attended
last
 week.
Additionally
, I would like to provide my personal perspectives about the courses and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the learning lessons.
Firstly
, I was so thankful that the manager Wang give me
this
 opportunity to join the advanced business communication skills.
Secondly
, it was so suitable for those who are empirical but still have less practical and advanced skills to negotiate with our clients and contractors. From a personal point of view, I have learned various techniques and strategies,
such
 as listening to others carefully and realizing the desire from the conversation, which were very helpful for dealing with the business.
Therefore
,
this
 three-day course can assist employees who are ready to get promoted to leading roles, and I, personally, suppose
this
 course can help our staff engage in different situations and easily build relationships with clients. Again, I appreciate the leader is willing to believe in my ability to give relevant feedback to our company, and I have learned a lot. Hope you can take
this
 suggestion into account and I look forward to
further
 discussing it. Warm regards
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear idea. This will make your response more concise and easier to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on why the course is suitable for your colleagues, providing specific examples if possible.
task achievement
Your writing tone is suitable and professional, which is ideal for a letter to an employer.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear greeting and closing, which makes the letter feel complete and well-rounded.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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