Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

nowadays,
life
is likely to be what
money
is all about.
although
it is sometimes
though
Correct your spelling
thought
show examples
that
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
a
lot
of
money
and short spare
time
is good, others think that more free
time
and low pay
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
beneficial.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
my opinion, I consider that making a
lot
of
money
and limited
time
can facilitate our lives in many aspects. on the one hand, many people think that more
money
and less free
time
is better. because they can buy whatever they want, ranging from
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
and
cellphone
Fix the agreement mistake
cellphones
show examples
to
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
and
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
. not only do they provide primary facilities but they can create
satisfying
Correct article usage
a satisfying
show examples
sense for themselves
.at
Correct your spelling
At
present, most rich people work a
lot
and
then
buy expensive cars, like Ferraris and Range Rovers to make them happy.
Therefore
, I believe that having cash is more vital than having an extra ideal
time
.
on the other hand
, it is sometimes believed that it would be better if the emphasis was on having more spare
time
and less
money
.
Correct your spelling
In
in other words
, as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, we need to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
a
lot
of
time
with friends and family members, in order to relive from hectic
life
style, increase concentration and get relaxed. because in
this
materialistic
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, many individuals suffer from a lack of free
time
.
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
is why,
this
condition may result in mental disorders, like depression. in conclusion,
while
people may vary in their opinions, I think that human beings can have
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
show examples
life
if they can focus on making a
lot
of
money
and less free
time
.
Submitted by salehmiri1995 on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammar and punctuation to ensure clarity and precision in your writing.
Content Development
Expand on your ideas more comprehensively and ensure supporting examples are related directly to the main points.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both views and states the writer's opinion clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure with well-organized paragraphs and clear central ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion appropriately present and restate the main idea of the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • facilitating
  • lifestyle
  • professional development
  • increased stress
  • work-life balance
  • hobbies
  • quality time
  • physical and mental health
  • financial constraints
  • luxury items
  • overall well-being
  • personal growth
  • middle ground
  • sacrificing
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