In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
nowadays, in some countries average weight of individuals has
been
increased Unnecessary verb
apply
while
the level of health and being on
great shape has been reduced. Change preposition
in
This
is originated from consuming higher
rate of fast Correct article usage
a higher
food
and sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
life style
. Yet there is much that can be done to address Correct your spelling
lifestyle
this
problem constructively.
the reason why, people
have a great tendency to eat fast food
is that in this
materialistic and fast-paced life style
, many Correct your spelling
lifestyle
people
are forced to work from dawn to Dusk for providing
primary facilities for their lives. so they do not have enough time to cook healthy Change preposition
to provide
food
for themselves. therefore
, they prefer to eat fast foods, which are rich in fat. for
example, Capitalize word
For
according to
food
pyramid consuming a medium pizza can add a lot of calories to the body, which will result in obesity. one possible approach would be increasing the price of Correct article usage
the food
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
by pizzerias. Consequently
, many people
will have to use healthy food
instead
of fast food
. in other words
, some people
choose healthy food
in order to save money during the month.
however
, I think a large number of people
has
chosen Correct subject-verb agreement
have
sedentary
lifestyle. because nowadays, many devices related to Correct article usage
a sedentary
the
technology Correct article usage
apply
has
facilitated their lives. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
that is
why, many people
have a tendency to utilize some smart gadget to do their activities. therefore
, this
gadget helps people
to save a lot of energy and time. second approach, providing gym membership can be most
Correct article usage
the most
effect
way to attract Replace the word
effective
people
to become busy in physical fitness activities therefore
improving their health.
in conclusion, it is a
true that Change the article
apply
problem
of increasing Correct article usage
the problem
weight
of Correct article usage
the weight
people
and not be
Wrong verb form
being
on
good shape with Change preposition
in
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
life style
will probably not be solved quickly. I thinkCorrect your spelling
lifestyle
,
they can spend time Remove the comma
apply
for
preparing healthy Change preposition
apply
food
by reducing their working hours.Submitted by salehmiri1995 on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the problem and provides a brief outline of the possible causes and solutions.
logical structure
The essay presents a clear structure with separate paragraphs for causes and solutions.
Your opinion
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