People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Presently, it is commonly considered by many people that new generations of
human
have a longer life expectancy than the prior generations. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
This
statement offers both benefits and drawbacks of this
circumstance, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
The advantages
of the above view is that Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
human
could be a strong species Fix the agreement mistake
humans
living
Change preposition
of living
organism
compared to others, which are insufficient development or they are able to Fix the agreement mistake
organisms
improved
anatomy themselvesWrong verb form
improve
,
because other organisms have no Remove the comma
apply
critically
technological improvement Change the word
critical
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
the
Correct article usage
apply
human
. To illustrate, nowadays, developing medical Fix the agreement mistake
humans
method
in Fix the agreement mistake
methods
medical
industry obtains from several knowledge Correct article usage
the medical
such
as a technologically
scientific and improving procedure. Change the word
technological
For example
, the
innovative machines including Correct article usage
apply
intelligence
performance of doctors or nurses Correct article usage
the intelligence
boosts
Change the verb form
boost
up
a high rate of curing and surviving Change preposition
apply
on
Change preposition
apply
patient
, and Fix the agreement mistake
patients
the
one reason to support Correct article usage
apply
this
is that allowing artificial inteligence
to become a part of curing disease, which utilizing the AI could be more accurate and effective for medication.
Correct your spelling
intelligence
On the other hand
, a last
longer life expectancy of people could Correct word choice
apply
affect
various effects, which Verb problem
have
it
could be Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
a
seriouse
problem in the future in terms of overpopulation, which leads not only to Correct your spelling
serious
be
more competitive consumption but Unnecessary verb
apply
also
living
life on the Earth, causing global people Change preposition
to living
face
a disaster problem. Add the particle
to face
In other words
, the
massive Correct article usage
a
humans
can be affected Correct quantifier usage
number of humans
to
plants and animals Change preposition
by
as
if the human Correct word choice
apply
consume
a large of them, which is able to be a less Change the verb form
consumes
of
organic production and Change preposition
apply
a
higher competition Correct article usage
apply
on
human activities.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in
this
phenomena
brings pros and cons to Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
human
community. Add an article
the human
While
the benefit of it seems beneficial points to major health, the disadvantage which could bring human to be an overpopulation situation requiring to observe
and Change the verb form
observing
tackle for
Wrong verb form
tackling
this
problem.Submitted by arunrak.wk on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Be more specific and clear in presenting your ideas. For instance, when discussing the positive side of increased life expectancy, clearly divide your argument into well-defined points rather than blending them together.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work for grammatical accuracy and usage of vocabulary. Some sentences were unclear and would benefit from simpler phrasing. For example, "the innovative machines including intelligence performance of doctors or nurses boosts up a high rate of curing and surviving on patient" could be made clearer.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Examples help in grounding your ideas and making them more compelling to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, which can be helped by connecting ideas more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes the essay easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the positive and negative implications of the increased life expectancy, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.