People born today can expect to live longer than people in previous generations. What are some of the positive and negative implications of this phenomenon? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Presently, it is commonly considered by many people that new generations of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
have a longer life expectancy than the prior generations.
This
statement offers both benefits and drawbacks of
this
circumstance, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. The
advantages
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advantage
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of the above view is that
human
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humans
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could be a strong species
living
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of living
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organism
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organisms
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compared to others, which are insufficient development or they are able to
improved
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improve
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anatomy themselves
,
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apply
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because other organisms have no
critically
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critical
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technological improvement
unlike
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, unlike
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
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humans
show examples
. To illustrate, nowadays, developing medical
method
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methods
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in
medical
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the medical
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industry obtains from several knowledge
such
as a
technologically
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technological
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scientific and improving procedure.
For example
,
the
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apply
show examples
innovative machines including
intelligence
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the intelligence
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performance of doctors or nurses
boosts
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boost
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up
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apply
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a high rate of curing and surviving
on
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apply
show examples
patient
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patients
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, and
the
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apply
show examples
one reason to support
this
is that allowing artificial
inteligence
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intelligence
to become a part of curing disease, which utilizing the AI could be more accurate and effective for medication.
On the other hand
, a
last
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apply
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longer life expectancy of people could
affect
Verb problem
have
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various effects, which
it
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apply
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could be
the
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a
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seriouse
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serious
problem in the future in terms of overpopulation, which leads not only to
be
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apply
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more competitive consumption but
also
living
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to living
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life on the Earth, causing global people
face
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to face
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a disaster problem.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
massive
humans
Correct quantifier usage
number of humans
show examples
can be affected
to
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by
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plants and animals
as
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apply
show examples
if the human
consume
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consumes
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a large of them, which is able to be a less
of
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apply
show examples
organic production and
a
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apply
show examples
higher competition
on
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in
show examples
human activities. In conclusion,
this
phenomena
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phenomenon
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brings pros and cons to
human
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the human
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community.
While
the benefit of it seems beneficial points to major health, the disadvantage which could bring human to be an overpopulation situation requiring
to observe
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observing
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and
tackle for
Wrong verb form
tackling
show examples
this
problem.
Submitted by arunrak.wk on

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task achievement
Be more specific and clear in presenting your ideas. For instance, when discussing the positive side of increased life expectancy, clearly divide your argument into well-defined points rather than blending them together.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your work for grammatical accuracy and usage of vocabulary. Some sentences were unclear and would benefit from simpler phrasing. For example, "the innovative machines including intelligence performance of doctors or nurses boosts up a high rate of curing and surviving on patient" could be made clearer.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. Examples help in grounding your ideas and making them more compelling to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs and ideas. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, which can be helped by connecting ideas more explicitly.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes the essay easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
Your essay covers both the positive and negative implications of the increased life expectancy, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • seasoned workforce
  • health advancements
  • chronic conditions
  • social welfare systems
  • pension plans
  • policy adjustments
  • aging population
  • cultural experiences
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • geriatric care
  • consumption of resources
  • environmental stresses
  • climate change
  • resource depletion
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