IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that the Internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #newspapers #media #information #internet #source
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe the best source for learning and getting
information
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 from the
newspaper
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;
however
Linking Words
, others think that the
Internet
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 is much better than
newspapers
Use synonyms
.In my opinion, I think the
Internet
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 is a better source for getting
information
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 and learning. Nowadays,the
internet
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 is growing rapidly and
also
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 gives us a new
way
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 to get
information
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.In the past,the
newspaper
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 was the only
way
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 to know what happened from all over the world.
However
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,
newspapers
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 had some practical problems stopping
people
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 got the latest
information
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.
For example
Linking Words
, journalists took time to write the paper,and later,it took more time to print out ,and delivering
newspapers
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 all over the cities is the hardest.If
people
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 who lived in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
remote counties would take a few days or a few weeks to get the data or letters.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,the
Internet
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 crosses over the
newspaper
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's obstacle.The males and females no matter where they live could get the newest news without interruption.
For instance
Linking Words
, During the Covid-19 period,
people
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 were not allowed to public spaces
such
Linking Words
 as schools, companies,and libraries.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the public was afraid of touching anything because of unknown vital and
newspapers
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 became one of
things
Add an article
the things
show examples
 that
people
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 didn't want to touch.At the same time, students were not allowed to school and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
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 learning became the only
way
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 to gain knowledge and get
information
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 from the government. In fact,
newspapers
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 are the real stuff that we can touch,copy,cut down and memorize the
information
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 we care about.In the data explosion period,the real things are more precious than we can keep them in our diary.
Moreover
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,
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
 places without the
internet
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, the
newspaper
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 become more important.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in modern society, the
internet
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 is a better
way
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 to gain knowledge and
information
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by diana1992lin on

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sentence structure
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are lengthy and could be clearer if broken into shorter ones.
coherence
To enhance coherence, use more linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
grammar
Review your use of prepositions and articles to correct minor grammatical inaccuracies.
balance
Provide a slightly more balanced view by discussing the advantages of newspapers with more depth before stating your opinion.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
examples
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
clarity
Your opinion is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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