Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some university students are passionate about learning additional
subjects
along with
their main
subjects
. Meanwhile, others are convinced that it is better to focus mostly on their qualification studies. In my opinion, it is good to be an all-rounder
and
Correct word choice
apply
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learn as much as possible and be a well-read person for your own sake.
On the other hand
, it might be tough to learn multiple things at once, and you will probably burn out quickly. In the first place, learning multiple disciplines will lead to intellectual growth in various fields and
also
acquire new skills. Not only will learning additional
subjects
improve your knowledge in different areas, but
also
it will definitely help in your main learning because science is very complex and can consist of many aspects that you may not learn as your main subject.
For instance
, BBC
news
Capitalize word
News
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reported that the best professionals in their field did additional studies apart from their major.
In contrast
, keeping up with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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numerous studies is quite a challenge. Many people want to sit on two chairs at once but face hardships in keeping up with several additional researches
along with
their central focus and end up
with
Change preposition
apply
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getting overwhelmed
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
consuming a lot of information which
subsequently
leads to burnout.
For example
,
survey
Add an article
a survey
show examples
from Oxford University students showcases that 45% of respondents gave up on the idea of studying extra
subjects
because they got burned out. In conclusion, even if the idea of knowing as much as possible is tempting, it is important to keep in mind your maximum in order to avoid overworking yourself and ending up with nothing.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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Task Achievement
While the essay mentions the importance of learning additional subjects, including a more thorough examination of why focusing only on main subjects might be advantageous could strengthen the essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure all main points are fully developed with specific details and examples to provide a better depth of understanding.
Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly elaborate on all parts of the task prompt, providing a comprehensive exploration of both sides before presenting your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Connecting ideas can be slightly more fluid by using transitional phrases between some of the statements for smoother flow and better readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using varied sentence structures to maintain interest and improve the logical progression of your ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both viewpoints and includes your own opinion, effectively aligning with the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a strong framework for the essay.
Task Achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the survey from Oxford University students, which adds validity to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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