IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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Scientists
Use synonyms
 carry out
research
Use synonyms
 for several reasons, I do agree with the statement that the most critical purpose is aiming for human life development.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
scientists
Use synonyms
 conduct
research
Use synonyms
 on plants particularly in the medical industry in order to address health problems that people are facing these days. The process of sourcing plants from forests and bringing them to the laboratory is vital for
research
Use synonyms
, where they are tested on animals before being developed into medicines for humans.
While
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 there is a considerable increase in population globally, individuals have been witnessing health problems rising, for that reason, the invention of new upgraded medicine becomes necessary.
For instance
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, Covid-19 had a profound impact on human life, demonstrating the importance of scientific efforts aimed at improving people’s lives. Despite the fact that global population growth is leading to global warming, there are solutions, figured out by
scientists
Use synonyms
, that humans could possibly carry out. Global warming refers to a long-term increase in the average of the earth’s atmosphere
due to
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 the greenhouse effect where gasses from various human activities
such
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 as carbon emissions from vehicles and factories. For these reasons,
scientists
Use synonyms
 are figuring out how to reduce carbon emission specifically from vehicles,
for instance
Linking Words
, the invention of electric cars as an alternative to fuel-powered vehicles, which are burning fuel to move people or goods from one place to another.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
 might contribute to the protection of our earth’s temperature increase and
further
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 lead to reducing climate changes which affect households.
While
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scientists
Use synonyms
 carry out
research
Use synonyms
 studies for many purposes, I strongly believe that performing
research
Use synonyms
 with the intention to improve people’s lives is crucial, in aspects of the medical industry
as well as
Linking Words
 in the protection of the global warming process.
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on

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Clear Ideas
Ensure you maintain a consistent tone throughout. While the ideas are clearly expressed, adding a more varied sentence structure will enhance clarity and engagement.
Specific Examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument further. The mention of Covid-19 was apt, but additional illustrations could better support the main points.
Logical Structure
You clearly stated your position in the introduction and returned to it in the conclusion, providing a cohesive structure to your essay.
Supported Main Points
Discussing both health improvements and addressing global warming showcases a well-rounded understanding of the topic, which supports your argument effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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