Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, health organisations strongly advocate against the consumption of
meat
. People from Asia are completely in support of
this
movement,
whereas
individuals from other parts of the world say it is impossible.
This
essay firmly agrees with the Asians. I believe that eating
meat
can be detrimental to humans and brutal to the
animals
being slaughtered.
To begin
with, consuming
meat
has long been associated with various health risks. Implementing
meat
into one’s diet has resulted in numerous cases of food poisoning, which can escalate to severe illnesses or even death.
For instance
, in 1991, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) stated that a major cause of foodborne illness and death is bacteria
such
as E. coli, salmonella, and shigella, which are often found in undercooked meats.
Hence
, it is advisable for people to look for nutritional alternatives,
such
as tofu or mushrooms, which are equally as chewy as
meat
.
Furthermore
, animal cruelty is one of the leading ethical and environmental issues faced today. The idea of killing
animals
like goats or cows to satisfy human appetite is increasingly seen as inhumane.
For example
, in Nigeria, hunters go into the forest with guns to shoot down deer, which are
then
skinned alive to make a popular delicacy known as “Kpomo."
This
practice not only causes immense suffering to the
animals
but
also
promotes the extinction of
such
species.
To sum up
, I wholeheartedly laud the idea of everyone becoming vegetarian.
This
approach not only promotes a healthy digestive tract but
also
reduces the
visciousness
Correct your spelling
viciousness
viscousness
shown towards
animals
.
Submitted by adebimpeanimawun on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your arguments are logically sound and well-organized throughout the essay. Consider presenting counterarguments and refuting them to strengthen your position.
task achievement
While your ideas are clear, further development of each point with more nuanced arguments and evidence would make your response more comprehensive.
general
Pay attention to slight grammatical inaccuracies and varied sentence structures to enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
You have provided strong, relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your stance on the issue is clearly communicated and consistently maintained throughout the essay.

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