Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?
Certain individuals think that handing out cash to youngsters every week is a highly effective way to support them but others do not favour
such
trend
. I am neutral on Correct article usage
a trend
this
opinion and this
viewpoint can have many pros and cons. In this
essay, the reasons for such
an opinion will be explored and supported with some examples.
To begin
with, some children do not have the conscientiousness to handle cash and use
it appropriately. They can use
it an
illegal way and could cost them their mental and physical health. To exemplify, children Change preposition
in an
use
money
to buy drugs from gangs or peers Add an article
the money
while
they are still in the school-going age. Besides
this
, some children also
spoil their friends and distract them from their studies. Ergo, it seems like an exorbitant amount of fund
in a child's pocket can have Fix the agreement mistake
funds
potential
to derail his career or life from the right path.
Correct article usage
the potential
On the contrary
, it depends on the upbringing of a kid
and how his family teaches him to utilize money. It could help the kid
in multifarious situations. For instance
, some kids save money and after a year they use
it to buy books that could assist them in their career. Another method to spend cash is by staying away from stressful
school regimen and Correct article usage
a stressful
do
some leisure time activities Wrong verb form
doing
such
as hiking or joining a swimming school. Thus
, it is an effective way to support a kid
during his schooldays
.
In conclusion, some kids utilize funds as an investment in their future and others can ruin their career by spending it in Correct your spelling
school days
a
wrong direction. Correct article usage
the
Thus
, it is difficult to apply this
trend for every kid
because each youngster is unique and parents should try this
cautiously.Submitted by Kiran on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some paragraphs are not well-developed. Ensure each point is fully explained and expand on your examples to enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task, but the response could be more focused. Clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent argument throughout.
task achievement
There are some good ideas presented, but they lack depth. Try to provide more detailed explanations and elaborate on your points to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both pros and cons of giving money to children, which shows a fair understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, summarizing your viewpoints and reinforcing your main arguments.