Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #amount #money #children

Certain individuals think that handing out cash to youngsters every week is a highly effective way to support them but others do not favour

such

trend

Correct article usage

a trend

show examples

. I am neutral on

this

opinion and

this

viewpoint can have many pros and cons. In

this

essay, the reasons for

such

an opinion will be explored and supported with some examples.

To begin

with, some children do not have the conscientiousness to handle cash and

use

it appropriately. They can

use

Change preposition

in an

show examples

illegal way and could cost them their mental and physical health. To exemplify, children

use

money

Add an article

the money

show examples

to buy drugs from gangs or peers

while

they are still in the school-going age.

Besides

this

, some children

also

spoil their friends and distract them from their studies. Ergo, it seems like an exorbitant amount of

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

in a child's pocket can have

potential

Correct article usage

the potential

show examples

to derail his career or life from the right path.

On the contrary

, it depends on the upbringing of a

kid

and how his family teaches him to utilize money. It could help the

kid

in multifarious situations.

For instance

, some kids save money and after a year they

use

it to buy books that could assist them in their career. Another method to spend cash is by staying away from

stressful

Correct article usage

a stressful

show examples

school regimen and

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

some leisure time activities

such

as hiking or joining a swimming school.

Thus

, it is an effective way to support a

kid

during his

schooldays

Correct your spelling

school days

show examples

. In conclusion, some kids utilize funds as an investment in their future and others can ruin their career by spending it in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

wrong direction.

Thus

, it is difficult to apply

this

trend for every

kid

because each youngster is unique and parents should try

this

cautiously.

Submitted by Kiran on Mon May 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, but some paragraphs are not well-developed. Ensure each point is fully explained and expand on your examples to enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve readability and engagement.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task, but the response could be more focused. Clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain a consistent argument throughout.

task achievement

There are some good ideas presented, but they lack depth. Try to provide more detailed explanations and elaborate on your points to demonstrate a clear understanding of the topic.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced view by discussing both pros and cons of giving money to children, which shows a fair understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, summarizing your viewpoints and reinforcing your main arguments.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial responsibility
independence
financial literacy
work ethic
effort and reward
impulsive purchases
budgeting skills
critical thinking
sense of entitlement
modest amounts

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Some people say that giving a smaller amount of money weekly to children will help them become more capable as they grow older. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Freshwater is a limited resource in certain regions of the world. Today, the escalating demand has transformed it into a global problem. What are the causes of increasing demand? What measures can governments and individuals take to respond to the problem?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?

Some people believe that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for the country, while others disagree. Do the benefits of hosting a major sporting event outweight the drawbacks?

There is a notion that says developed countries should avoid encouraging expert workers of developing countries for emigration, because the poorer countries need their professional workers

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?