In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?
It is true that in
this
day and age, opinion is divided over whether lots of people living in countryside dwelling to urban cities
so the number of people living in rural has significantly fell
. In Change the verb form
fallen
felled
this
essay, I will look at the
both sides of Remove the article
apply
this
debates
Fix the agreement mistake
debate
as well as
offer my point of view.
Turning first of all to the argumen
in favour of Correct your spelling
argument
this
idea, it goes without saying that moving to cities
has more benefits rather than staying countriside
. Correct your spelling
countryside
For
example
rural area often lacks an abundance of facilities like shopping Add a comma
example,
mall
and amusement Fix the agreement mistake
malls
area
. and it Fix the agreement mistake
areas
also
lack
Change the verb form
lacks
of
Remove the preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
trasnportations
. Correct your spelling
transportation
transportations
However
, cities
have enough facilities and transportation so it is easy to live.
In addition
, living in the city leads to higher salaries because cities
often offer better job opportunities, higher wages, and more advanced career prospects compared to rural areas.
As far as the other side of this
argument is concerned, it is generallt
Correct your spelling
generally
acknowledge
that decreasing the population in the rural has Wrong verb form
acknowledged
disadvantage
because the movement of rural populations to Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
cities
can lead to overcrowding, increased pressure on infrastructure, and the development of urban slums. Also
Urbanization can lead to environmental degradation, increased pollution, and the destruction of natural habitats as Add a comma
Also,
cities
expand to accommodate new residents.
By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above, it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of this
debate. However
, I am of the opinion that ion
the grand Correct your spelling
in
schemeof
things, living in Correct your spelling
scheme of
cities
has more benefits than living in countryside
so it is a positive opinion.Correct article usage
the countryside
Submitted by yusei.nakano on
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that directly states your thesis on whether the trend is positive or negative. This helps to frame the reader's understanding from the onset.
relevant specific examples
While you have included relevant points, make sure to elaborate on them with specific examples or data when possible. For instance, you could mention particular cities or statistics on income disparities.
clear comprehensive ideas
Double-check for minor grammatical errors and typos, e.g., 'trasnportations' should be 'transportation,' and 'argumen' should be 'argument.' This will improve clarity and professionalism.
complete response
Your essay covers both sides of the debate effectively, showing a balanced understanding of the issue.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical, and each paragraph flows well into the next one, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear conclusion that neatly wraps up your argument, reinforcing your main point of view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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