In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside

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It is true that in

this

Linking Words

day and age, opinion is divided over whether lots of people living in countryside dwelling to urban

cities

Use synonyms

so the number of people living in rural has significantly

fell

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fallen

felled

show examples

. In

this

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essay, I will look at

the

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apply

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both sides of

this

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debates

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debate

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as well as

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offer my point of view. Turning first of all to the

argumen

Correct your spelling

argument

in favour of

this

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idea, it goes without saying that moving to

cities

Use synonyms

has more benefits rather than staying

countriside

Correct your spelling

countryside

For

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example

Add a comma

example,

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rural area often lacks an abundance of facilities like shopping

mall

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malls

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and amusement

area

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areas

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. and it

also

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lack

Change the verb form

lacks

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Remove the preposition

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trasnportations

Correct your spelling

transportation

transportations

However

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cities

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have enough facilities and transportation so it is easy to live.

In addition

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, living in the city leads to higher salaries because

cities

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often offer better job opportunities, higher wages, and more advanced career prospects compared to rural areas. As far as the other side of

this

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argument is concerned, it is

generallt

Correct your spelling

generally

acknowledge

Wrong verb form

acknowledged

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that decreasing the population in the rural has

disadvantage

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disadvantages

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because the movement of rural populations to

cities

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can lead to overcrowding, increased pressure on infrastructure, and the development of urban slums.

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Also

Add a comma

Also,

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Urbanization can lead to environmental degradation, increased pollution, and the destruction of natural habitats as

cities

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expand to accommodate new residents. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above, it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of

this

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debate.

However

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, I am of the opinion that

ion

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show examples

the grand

schemeof

Correct your spelling

scheme of

things, living in

cities

Use synonyms

has more benefits than living in

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

so it is a positive opinion.

Submitted by yusei.nakano on Mon May 27 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that directly states your thesis on whether the trend is positive or negative. This helps to frame the reader's understanding from the onset.

relevant specific examples

While you have included relevant points, make sure to elaborate on them with specific examples or data when possible. For instance, you could mention particular cities or statistics on income disparities.

clear comprehensive ideas

Double-check for minor grammatical errors and typos, e.g., 'trasnportations' should be 'transportation,' and 'argumen' should be 'argument.' This will improve clarity and professionalism.

complete response

Your essay covers both sides of the debate effectively, showing a balanced understanding of the issue.

logical structure

The structure of your essay is logical, and each paragraph flows well into the next one, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

introduction conclusion present

You have a clear conclusion that neatly wraps up your argument, reinforcing your main point of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

economic opportunities
career prospects
quality of life
cultural exchange
economic stagnation
urban overcrowding
infrastructure
environmental degradation
pollution
natural habitats
migration
superior education and healthcare services
diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
local services
urban slums
pressure on infrastructure

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative thing?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that young people are unfit for holding significant positions in the government, while others maintain that it is beneficial for them to occupy such roles. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The most important consideration while selecting a job or career has a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.