In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative thing?

It is true that in
this
day and age, opinion is divided over whether lots of people live in countryside dwellings to urban
cities
so the number of people living in rural has significantly fallen. In
this
essay, I will look at both sides of
this
debate
as well as
offer my point of view. Turning first of all to the argument in favour of
this
idea, it goes without saying that moving to
cities
has more benefits rather than staying countryside.
For example
, a rural area often lacks an abundance of facilities like shopping malls and amusement areas. and it
also
lacks transportation.
However
,
cities
have enough facilities and transportation so it is easy to live.
In addition
, living in the city leads to higher salaries because
cities
often offer better job opportunities, higher wages, and more advanced career prospects compared to rural areas. As far as the other side of
this
argument is concerned, it is generally acknowledged that decreasing the population in rural has disadvantages because the movement of rural populations to
cities
can lead to overcrowding, increased pressure on infrastructure, and the development of urban slums.
Also
, Urbanization can lead to environmental degradation, increased pollution, and the destruction of natural habitats as
cities
expand to accommodate new residents. By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above, it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of
this
debate.
However
, I am of the opinion that in the grand scheme of things, living in
cities
has more benefits than living in the countryside so it is a positive opinion.
Submitted by yusei.nakano on

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task response
Your essay does a good job of addressing the topic and providing a clear stance. However, for a higher score, try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is logically structured, there are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can disrupt the flow of reading. Pay attention to sentence structures and try to use more varied sentence types for better readability.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the writer’s intention to present both sides of the argument.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with separate paragraphs for each main point, making it easy for readers to follow the line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic opportunities
  • career prospects
  • quality of life
  • cultural exchange
  • economic stagnation
  • urban overcrowding
  • infrastructure
  • environmental degradation
  • pollution
  • natural habitats
  • migration
  • superior education and healthcare services
  • diverse and vibrant cultural landscape
  • local services
  • urban slums
  • pressure on infrastructure
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