People thought process are greatly affected ny what they read, listen and observe around them through various outlets like newspapers, television programmes or movies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

It is said that what we read, observe and listen
from
Change preposition
to from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
films,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows and news articles impacts our mind’s thinking. I firmly agree with
this
statement as people react
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
what they conquer with
genre
Add an article
the genre
a genre
show examples
of entertainment and content in the paper. There are television serials and movies based on negative factors like fighting and crime which show the scenes that are challenging to digest for us. Directly or indirectly what is shown may
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
be correct or not,
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has an effect on the people. Like
for example
, a teenage child watching the WWE fight will try to defend himself in an argument by attacking his own friends which could have been sorted by talking softly.
Hence
, it is vital for all of us to watch
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
things and filter out the wrong ones.
Further
, there are headlines based on road accidents or someone died in a family which has an effect on our society. The fear of
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
someone or what if
this
happens
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
me in the future is the thought.
Like in
Change preposition
In
show examples
a case, where a girl loses her mother in an accident is feared that
this
might
also
happen
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
her father.
Therefore
, one should be careful and have a mindset that any negative data won’t affect their way of thinking. If something is
bothering
Correct pronoun usage
bothering us
show examples
, we should talk to our close individuals. In conclusion,
ideas
Correct article usage
the ideas
show examples
of human beings are affected by watching, hearing and reading the varieties of sources which capture and enable us to think and act in
the
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
way.
Submitted by nikitanalawade681 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, ensure that each paragraph directly supports your thesis statement. Include more specific examples from a wider range of sources to illustrate your points more convincingly.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, consider using linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly. Make sure each paragraph transitions logically to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your essay has well-developed paragraphs that fully explore your supporting points. This will help improve the logical structure and ensure each main point is thoroughly supported.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which sets the stage well for the rest of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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