IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food is becoming a part of people's daily life everywhere, and this has had negative effects on our lifestyles and diet.Do you agree with this statement?

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The advent of fast
snacks
Use synonyms
 has changed the lives of the public significantly. It is becoming a vital part of daily life around the world.
However
Linking Words
, it is said to be negative to our lifestyles and
diets
Use synonyms
.
This
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 author thinks there is no doubt about its effect because of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
fast-paced
behaviour
Use synonyms
 among crowds and
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
show examples
 eating habits of the community. it is evident that our
behaviour
Use synonyms
 has suffered because of the appearance of fast meals.
In other words
Linking Words
, fast foodstuff might be the main reason for the fast-paced
behaviour
Use synonyms
 among crowds nowadays. Because of that , most
society
Change to a plural noun
societies
show examples
 are under stress most of the time, which is significantly bad for their mental
health
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, fast meals might be the root of the community's bad mental
health
Use synonyms
 by making a fast-paced habit among residents. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that our
diets
Use synonyms
 have changed a lot since the advent of
snacks
Use synonyms
. In spite of its convenience, fast food affects our
health
Use synonyms
 badly through
diets
Use synonyms
 containing
snacks
Use synonyms
. The fast snack contains either little or no nutrients
as well as
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 minerals
such
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 as calcium and phosphorus.
As a consequence
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, the consumers of fast meals are almost obese or have some relevant diseases like stroke, and diabetes. So , fast
snacks
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 have heightened many diseases by changing our
diets
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 quietly. In conclusion, fast snack makes a fast-paced life in society which leads to stress and
also
Linking Words
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 our
health
Use synonyms
 in a bad way.
Therefore
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,
This
Linking Words
 writer agrees with the opinion that fast foodstuff nowadays influences our
behaviour
Use synonyms
 and
diets
Use synonyms
 badly.

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introduction
Your introduction sets the stage well by presenting the topic and giving your stance. However, you could give a more clear thesis statement to strengthen your introduction.
task response
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides a complete response. However, use more specific examples to bolster your arguments, which will make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some ideas and sentences are a bit repetitive. Try to use a variety of words and sentence structures to improve the flow and keep the reader's interest.
logical structure
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your arguments easily.
clear comprehensive ideas
You effectively discussed both the behavioral and dietary impacts of fast food, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed foods
  • nutrient deficiency
  • culinary practices
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • convenient
  • overconsumption
  • environmental impact
  • mental health
  • traditional diets
  • packaging waste
  • affordability
  • accessibility
  • balanced diet
  • health risks
  • eating habits
  • unhealthy fats
  • sugars
  • salt
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