Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Students
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from universities are willing to learn additional
subjects
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other than the main
subjects
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that are related to their majors.
While
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others argue that fully emphasizing the main
subjects
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for
a
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qualification is more critical. I do agree with
this
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statement, despite the fact that other
subjects
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provide benefits. The desire of some
students
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to learn other
subjects
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may have potential benefits in their future careers.
In other words
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, there are many general skills that
students
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can learn as additional
subjects
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,
such
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as interpersonal skills, which could enhance when they interact with society not only for the moment of studying but
also
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in their future working lives. Since universities play a crucial role as a bridge for children when they prepare for their careers to enter adulthood, the
students
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,
thus
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, consider having additional
subjects
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will be advantageous for them.
However
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, it might lose their attention on the main
subjects
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.
On the other hand
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, there are
students
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who want to focus on their relevant
subjects
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for a qualification, particularly international
students
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.
This
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is because they have
initially
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encountered language barriers and culture shocks, meanwhile, they have to struggle for their studies which were taught in a foreign language. Another reason is that they don’t usually have
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for irrelevant
subjects
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as they have been occupied with their part-time jobs. They probably consider that lacking concentration on main
subjects
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may hinder higher grades and cause confusion in their career paths.
To sum up
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, in my opinion,
students
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who are focusing on main
subjects
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for qualification would be more effective and efficient in their career path rather than adding additional
subjects
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, which may create confusion.
Submitted by mamamonkey45 on

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task achievement
Consider integrating more specific and varied examples to bolster the essay's arguments and provide a richer analysis. Specific examples can help to clearly demonstrate your points and make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Aim for smoother transitions between the ideas and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will aid in maintaining coherence and making your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced exploration of both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding and engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
The response successfully outlines a clear perspective and sums up with a precise conclusion, contributing to its effective coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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