Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. What are the causes? Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, a lot of
people
consider trusting traditional medicine
rather than going to doctors
. I think it is a negative development and will provide an explanation of why this
might be the case.
One of the reasons people
put trust in traditional medicine
is their belief in natural products. Medications that are prescribed today by doctors
may have some unknown conservants
and chemicals that make ordinary Correct your spelling
conservators
servants
conservant
people
without medical education start to doubt their efficiency. In contrast
, traditional medicine
presents products that are natural. Producers of such
services claim that they put only fresh and ecological ingredients such
as herbs
.
The other cause which makes consumers rely more on traditional ways of healing is a previously bad experience with doctors
. The majority of people
have lived through at least one bad experience where the doctor's opinion was incorrect. Following
this
, some patients choose to still go to medical experts after, meanwhile, others switch to what in their opinion is a safer option, which is herbs
.
These days, the fact that at least a quarter of society considers applying traditional medicine
rather than the standard one can negatively impact humans. While
pills, that were prescribed by doctors
, were tested before and made sure to be suitable for consumers, the same conclusion can not be said for products of traditional medicine
. People
might accumulate a diverse amount of herbs
and consume them; however
, it does not mean it is safer for them. Actually, it is the opposite way, due to
the lack of research that was done on combining different herbs
the effect can be even more damaging. Afterwards, it may result in worse health conditions.
In conclusion, many patients consider selecting traditional medicine
because they think of it as a safer and more effective option, or due to
a bad experience with doctors
in the past. Nevertheless
, I believe it is a negative development due to
the the
not fully researched background the traditional Remove the redundancy
apply
herbs
have that can lead to serious consequences in a person's well-being.Submitted by katenok200312 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task, providing reasons why people rely on traditional medicine and discussing whether this is a positive or negative trend. However, you could strengthen your arguments with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with detailed explanations and examples. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is good, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point.
complete response
You address the given topic comprehensively, discussing both causes and the potential impact of the shift towards traditional medicine.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.