In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables . Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
A prevalent trend occurring frequently in the modern day is
individuals
inclined towards having their own places for growing fresh vegetables
rather than spaces for community and society. Although
many point out that citizens can reap the benefits of public parks , I would argue that the advantages as a whole overshadow these perceived drawbacks.
One of the main aspects of indigenous gardening spaces is due to
the healthy lifestyle that it can lead to. To explain, local gardens will encourage individuals
to consume more fresh fruit and diverse types of vegetables
. As a result
, it will raise one's awareness of being physically strong and also
aid people in caring for themselves. Take Hasaki- a remote town in the North of Japan as a good example , where governments motivate their inhabitants to stay fit by having more places for residents to grow strawberries, apples and other kinds of fruit . Hence
, replacing public spaces with gardens is a great way to ensure citizens will be healthier.
Another point to consider is that taking part in outdoor activities which relate to farming will make residents find it easy to connect and maintain mutual relationships with their neighbourhoods. Thus
, it can bridge the gap of people and also
foster a sense of unity. For instance
, a BBC record showed that some primary schools in the USA hold a competition named "Potatoes" every year for students and it was a suitable chance for them to make friends by attending those extracurricular activities . Whereby, indigenous places for growing are an opportunity for individuals
to stay in touch with others.
There was , however
, a large number of inhabitants who felt that planting fruit and vegetables
could allow fertilizers to impinge on the environment. Due to
the fact that fresh vegetables
need an enormous amount of chemical sources to prevent them from damaging by insects. As a consequence
, those kinds of liquid can be toxic to both individuals
and the environment, which also
causes issues based on health. Therefore
, it might be hard for governments to reduce the sewage waste that the processes of fruit-growing contain and it can damage negatively to a person.
To conclude
, despite planting vegetables
,may have a detrimental impact on one's health, it still benefits inhabitants from its encouragement and community activities.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the essay addresses the task and provides a balanced argument, improving the introduction and conclusion can make the essay more compelling. For instance, the introduction can be clearer in stating the specific stance of the writer, and the conclusion can summarize the key points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally coherent, but transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Using linking words and phrases more effectively will enhance the flow of ideas. This will improve the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all examples provided are directly relevant to the point being made. Some examples feel slightly tangential and could be more directly tied to the argument to better support the main points.
task achievement
The essay covers the advantages and disadvantages of transforming public parks into gardens for local residents, demonstrating a comprehensive response to the task.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear and well-developed, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples, such as the case study of Hasaki and the competition in the USA, to support the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to each point, making it easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and they establish the context and summarize the discussion, respectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example