Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Ohter argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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present world, society is willing for money over their dream
jobs
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furthermore
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, communities get paid different wages
according to
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their
jobs
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. It would be better if all
jobs
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were seen as equal because every job has it is position. Literally, every task brings the same essentials to the community.
To begin
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, others believe including me that, money is not the first essential thing in life as a matter of fact, if you apply for the job that you like you can work more productively and massive income automatically comes to you
in addition
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, you could end up as professional of your work and become famous, rich not only these, the biggest achievement that you receive is that happy lifetime, in life there is nothing can compare than being healthy and enjoyment.
Secondly
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, there is
also
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a variety of positive sides to well paid
for instance
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, you can retard at an early age and have a chance to travel to foreign countries every month or even a year, the population could not have a chance to get enough dopamine to the job but with money, it is possible
for example
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, the nation could buy different clothes and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
for a house in a week or a month that's how they become happy and
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
and find a passion to work.
To sum up
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, I assume that, people need to make a movement towards what they have an interest in. Unsatisfactory
jobs
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could be endurable in the long run
however
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, it depends on people's character.
Submitted by xalilovamirxon6 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the essay's clarity and organization, ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific point or argument. Transition words can guide the reader through your logical progression of ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your examples. For instance, when mentioning the benefits of being happy in a job, provide a specific anecdote or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly differentiate between the two viewpoints before articulating your own stance. This will aid in providing a balanced discussion and a more persuasive argument.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents two different viewpoints on handling unsatisfactory situations and includes a personal opinion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a coherent argument structure, beginning with an introduction, discussing two viewpoints, and concluding with the author's opinion.
task achievement
The writer provides insight into their opinion, emphasizing personal happiness and professional satisfaction over mere financial gain.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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