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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Machines are taking over more and more jobs previously done by humans. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

There is ongoing debate about the appropriate
age
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 for
children
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 to start formal
education
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. Some individuals opine  that starting
school
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 at a very early
age
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 is beneficial,
while
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 others argue that
children
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 should not begin formal schooling until they are at least 7 years old.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion.      On one hand, some people claim  that
children
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 should start
school
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 early, around the
age
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 of 3 or 4. They believe that early
education
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 helps
children
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 develop fundamental skills
such
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 as reading, writing, and socializing with others.
For example
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,
children
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 who start
school
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 early may learn how to follow rules and interact with peers, which can prepare them for later academic success.
Additionally
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, starting early may help
children
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 become more independent and disciplined.    
On the other hand
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, some people believe that formal
education
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 should start at the
age
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 of 7. They argue that
children
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 need time to develop emotionally and physically before they are ready for the structure of
school
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.
For instance
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, at a younger
age
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,
children
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 may not be able to focus for long periods and might struggle with the demands of formal learning. Supporters of
this
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 view think that
children
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 should spend their early years playing and exploring the world around them, which can help them develop creativity and problem-solving skills.     
To conclude
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 , both early and later starts to formal
education
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 have their advantages. I strongly opine that 
children
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 should not be rushed into formal
education
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. it is better to allow them to start
school
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 when they are emotionally and physically ready, which may be closer to the
age
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 of 7.

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task achievement
Ensure you provide specific examples in each body paragraph to strengthen your argument. Try to elaborate more on how these examples relate to and support the main point.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally cohesive, adding some linking phrases to connect different sections of the essay would improve the overall flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay with distinct paragraphs that each address individual points.
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