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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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There are two attitudes toward some notable careers, like medics and engineers.
While
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 they have been trained in their own
country
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, the first group would argue that, for that reason, they should serve in their own
country
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. Another attitude is that they should work wherever they want without limitation. In my view, they should have the chance to choose their destination for work, which is closer to the latter notion.
This
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 freedom of choice in career decisions is not just a fundamental right, but
also
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 a catalyst for significant personal and professional growth in the fields of medicine and engineering. On the one hand, some individuals claim that numerous amenities are allocated to a person who becomes either a doctor or an engineer,
such
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 as good professors, a vast number of universities, and libraries, to name but a few.
As a result
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, not only does training them not bring benefits, but it
also
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 puts the government under heavy pressure. If they leave the
country
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, authorities are more likely to face a lack of experts, leading to human disasters in the medical and building industries.
On the other hand
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, some people justifiably argue that the better facilities you have, the more creative you are.
Moreover
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, if their
country
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 had provided suitable facilities for them, they would stay,
then
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 what better is to go where improve their knowledge? Another issue that could be noticed is that officials may make experts feel guilty about not leaving. Providing convenient educational circumstances is one of the government's duties, so if they face a problem, they will implement other measures
such
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 as using foreign specialists or persuading domestic experts. In conclusion, keeping doctors and engineers within the
country
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's borders because they have been granted courses is not a rational decision;
instead
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, choosing their work location without restriction is more crucial.

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task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided your opinion, which is good. However, ensure that the essay is evenly balanced. The argument supporting the freedom to work abroad could be further developed with more specific examples and a stronger conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logical but could be clearer. The introduction and conclusion need to be more distinct and impactful. Make sure each paragraph has one central idea that is clearly connected to the main argument.
task achievement
You have successfully presented both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexities of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas, which is important for coherence and cohesion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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