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Band 6

The bar chart shows attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006

The bar chart shows attendance of people in different ages in music events in Australia in 2006
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In general, it can be clearly seen that popular
music
Use synonyms
 reached the highest point at ages 15 to 44, followed by
opera
Use synonyms
 and classical,
while
Linking Words
 classical remained the same in all ages.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
opera
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
 had the largest percentage and was unchanged from
age
Use synonyms
 45 to more than 55.
To begin
Linking Words
, three groups of
age
Use synonyms
 including 15 to 24, 25 to 34 and 35 to 44 enjoyed the popular
music
Use synonyms
 events most which were triple that of classical
music
Use synonyms
 and double that of
opera
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
,
However
Linking Words
, there was a change in data of popular
music
Use synonyms
 which decreased from 38% to 27%, increase to 33% and fall down to 13%, 5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the contributions of
opera
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
 were the second most prevalent
music
Use synonyms
 event in
age
Use synonyms
 15 to 44 that had more common than
opera
Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
 (13% in
age
Use synonyms
 15 to 24, 14% in
age
Use synonyms
 25 to34 and 25% in
age
Use synonyms
 35 to 44),
while
Linking Words
 classical
music
Use synonyms
 had a stable change.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, in adult
age
Use synonyms
 (from 45 to more than 55) the popularity of
music
Use synonyms
 events was
opera
Use synonyms
 stood the same and had a double fold compared to popular
music
Use synonyms
 in ages over 55 and classical.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the amount of attendance for classical
music
Use synonyms
 concerts had litter distinctiveness.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, opera, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance patterns
  • age demographics
  • teenagers
  • young adults
  • middle-aged individuals
  • senior citizens
  • varies
  • preferences
  • interpret
  • type of music events
  • concerts
  • festivals
  • classical music events
  • insightful
  • popular
  • cultural influences
  • social trends
  • lifestyle choices
  • affect
  • rates
  • economic factors
  • accessibility
  • cost of tickets
  • income levels
  • comparison
  • recreational activities
  • forms of entertainment
  • noting trends
  • deviations
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