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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #price #bananas #four #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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The provided chart compares the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
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 in four nations between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
price
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 of
bananas
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 was the lowest in the USA during the recorded period and had the highest average
cost
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 in Japan.
Accroding
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According
 to the graph, the
price
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 of
bananas
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 was exactly 1 dollar for each
kilogram
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 between 1994 and 1997,
then
Linking Words
, it increased in 1998 to just below 1.5
dollars
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,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
 that its
price
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 levelled off for the rest of the years. The
cost
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 of
bananas
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 in Germany was more than its
cost
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 in the USA during the recorded years and exactly 1.5
dollars
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 per
kilogram
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 and
then
Linking Words
 experienced some fluctuations and
touche
Verb problem
reached
show examples
 the highest
cost
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 in 2002 exactly 2
dollars
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 for each
kilogram
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,
finally
Linking Words
 was just below 2
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2004. The
price
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 of
bananas
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 was 2
dollars
Use synonyms
 in France in 1994 and it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
remained constant until 1998 after that it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lowest
price
Use synonyms
 exactly 1.5
dollars
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 for each
kilogram
Use synonyms
, after that it saw some oscillations and returned to its
price
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 in 1994. The
price
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 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 in Japan in 1994 was
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same as in France and
then
Linking Words
 it experienced an upward trend and saw the highest
cost
Use synonyms
exactly
Change preposition
of exactly
show examples
 3
dollars
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 in 1998
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the years
then
Linking Words
 its
price
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between 1999 and 2003 and
finally
Linking Words
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2.5
dollars
Use synonyms
 for each
kilogram
Use synonyms
 in 2004.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cost, bananas, price, kilogram, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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