In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case

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Water

Use synonyms

plays an essential and invaluable role in farming

although

Linking Words

there are technological advancements taking place. There are various reasons for starvation

such

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as global warming

due to

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industrialization, the usage of fossil fuels, deforestation, and contamination of toxic substances with

water

Use synonyms

sources and soil which lead to the disappearance of necessary microorganisms for crops.

For instance

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firstly

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, an excessive approach to industrialization will release more CO2 and other toxic gases

Change preposition

into

show examples

the environment and damage the Ozone layer,

due to

Linking Words

which, the temperature will increase and lead to drought.

Secondly

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, deforestation causes the loss of animal habitats and disturbs the ecosystem.

Furthermore

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, the damage caused to the environment is reversible. Carrying out certain treatments by collaborating with agricultural experts will solve these issues. A few things can be executed

such

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as installing rainwater harvesting tanks in every house, artificial forestation (or planting more trees) to provide more habitat for wild animals and insects, and implementing stringent rules and regulations for industrial owners to control the emissions within allowable limits to prevent global warming and to save

water

Use synonyms

which will enhance the crop yield.

For example

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, farmers gave up farming in a village called Madurai in the Southern part of India

due to

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insufficient

water

Use synonyms

in reservoirs and wells,

however

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artificial forestation enhanced the rain and increased the groundwater table to the previous stage. In conclusion, humans will struggle for food if everybody does not take care of

this

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precious environment despite technological advancements. Artificial forestation, rainwater preservation, and policy-making for industrial sectors will decrease global warming and boost food production.

Submitted by thanushan.kulathasan on Mon May 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task effectively, but there is room for improvement in providing more detailed examples and explanations. For instance, you can elaborate more on how specific technological advancements in agriculture, apart from deforestation and industrialization, fail to prevent hunger.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the connections between some points could be smoother. Make sure each paragraph transitions naturally to the next. For example, linking the causes of hunger more directly to the solutions will enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Provide more variety in sentence structures to improve readability and maintain the reader's interest. Also, ensure that all sentences contribute directly to answering the question posed by the task.

coherence cohesion

You have a well-organized essay with a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You included relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Madurai, which strengthens your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inequality
distribution
access to resources
climate change
natural disasters
political factors
economic factors
agricultural practices
infrastructure
transportation
population growth
education
knowledge
food waste

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills, Do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviours and situations by others in the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some people think that e-books are better to be used for education in order to go paperless. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages. Give your own opinion

Some people say that all secondary and higher secondary school students should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. Do you agree or disagree with this argument?

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?