IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You are a member of a international students club. The club is organizing an event to celebrate poplar foods around the world. Write a letter to the event organizer, Lucis Offer to make a poplar dish from your country Describe what this dish is Explain why it should be included in event

#member #students #club #event #poplar #foods #world #organizer #lucis #offer #dish #country
Dear sir, I am writing
this
 letter in relation to the event which is organized on July
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 10, 2024 at sunset point by our club. It will be fascinating to taste the various popular foods from different nations. I
also
 want to be a contestant and thinking of presenting the most delicious dish from Punjab, Channa Batura. 99% of Indians are big fans of
this
 meal. Basically, it consists of white chana mixed with gravy prepared from onions and tomatoes and served with a Batura prepared from all-purpose flour by adding some salt and yeast to make it soft. It is served with some vinegar onions
along with
 some yoghurt to add another star to its flavour. I think it must be included in the event because it is
widely
Correct article usage
a widely
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 eaten food by Indians and the vegetable contains a good quantity of protein which is good for the body.
Moreover
, it is a quite comforting food
thus
, I think most individuals are going to love its perfect combination. I hope you will take it into consideration. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
While the letter provides a comprehensive description of the dish and its components, there is a minor inconsistency in how the date of the event is presented ("July, 10, 2024" should be "July 10, 2024").
coherence cohesion
Ensuring that each paragraph retains a single clear idea would further enhance clarity. For instance, discussing the health benefits of the dish can be separated from how it is served.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are well-executed, establishing a polite and formal tone.
complete response
The letter effectively describes the dish and makes a clear argument for its inclusion in the event.
logical structure
The logical structure of the letter makes it easy to follow and understand.
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