IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Research has shown that the
internet
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 access has given us the opportunity to communicate with others worldwide. Most
people
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 choose to communicate through the
internet
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 rather than sending letters as it occurred in the past. A lot of
people
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 support
this
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 way of communication
while
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 others are opposed.
Finally
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, is the
internet
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 a positive or negative
development
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?
Firstly
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,
people
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 who believe that the
internet
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 is a positive
development
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, logically, use the
internet
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 every day in their lives. It helps them to annihilate distances and to have a continual connection with their friends or collaborators.
Additionally
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, it makes them to buy
time
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.
For instance
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, they can video call with a friend
while
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 they send an email at the same
time
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. If we go back in
time
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, we will see that
this
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 action would take a lot of days or months if we sent a letter abroad.
On the other hand
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, there are those who support that
internet
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development
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 is negative for us. They rely on the fact that social media promotes adverts with low quality and they affect most of us negatively.
Moreover
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, social media has made
people
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's appearances to be in the centre of the world. It is known that everyone wants to be beautiful outside but only some of them take care of their principles like trust and respect. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that social media and, in general, the
internet
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 is both a positive and negative
development
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. I mean that if someone doesn't have moderation, they risk losing a lot of productive
time
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 in their lives.
Thus
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, of course, we can use the
internet
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 for communication or our work, but not for entertainment, because it may be harmful to us and, even more easily, for children who are passive receivers of everything they see or listen to. We should be careful!

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task response
Your essay provides a clear stance on the issue, thoroughly describing both positive and negative aspects of internet communication. However, a more balanced argument with additional specific examples could strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay benefits from a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical progression between points can be enhanced for smoother flow. Consider using transitional phrases to link your ideas more effectively.
task response
Some points could be further developed with detailed examples or evidence to support your arguments more robustly. For instance, discuss specific ways in which social media might cause harm, beyond just promoting superficial appearances.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task response
You addressed both perspectives on the topic and provided your own opinion, which is crucial for this type of essay.
task response
You have shown an understanding of the topic and used relevant points to support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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