Write about the following topic: Many major cities are facing a housing crisis as they cannot provide enough land for new buildings. Some local governments believe the problem could be solved by reassigning park land for residential development, because this land would be better used for housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many regions in the world have limited areas for residential. Some governments emphasize that the
solution
is to diminish the parklands and build residential over them.
Due to
this
fact, I wholeheartedly disagree with
this
solution
because it could affect the benefits of open
spaces
for the environment.
Firstly
, open
spaces
in the urban areas could reduce
air
pollution in the cities because many plants are growing there. There are many plants that could absorb toxic materials in the
air
such
as censiverra and by planting these trees, the toxic materials in the
air
could be reduced.
For instance
, in Surabaya, Indonesia, the government expanded a park that contains many trees which could absorb the
air
pollution and it is proven that the percentage of pollution in Surabaya decreased within a few years.
Secondly
, another
solution
to the housing crisis could be solved by building apartments that could conclude many households rather than rebuilding the parks. The apartments could be built with huge capacities for people
while
the amount of area to build the apartments is smaller than a house for each household.
For example
, a 300-meters cubical apartment with 10 floors could contain 30 households
while
normal houses for 30 households would need 3 hectares.
Therefore
, diminishing the parklands is not the best
solution
for the housing crisis.
To conclude
, removing the parklands and changing them with new buildings would decrease the benefits of open
spaces
that are needed in the cities. The benefits of open
spaces
such
as
air
filtering would decrease and affect people's health in the cities.
Due to
these facts, I emphasize that the housing crisis should not be solved by changing the lands with new buildings.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Lexical Resource
Aim to provide more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to articulate your points. This will showcase a higher level of language proficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Though the essay has a good flow, adding a variety of cohesive devices will enhance the readability further.
Structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
Task Achievement
Relevant examples, such as the one about Surabaya, Indonesia, effectively support your arguments and demonstrate real-world application.
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