Some people believe that modern technology, such as the internet and smartphones,creates more problems than it solves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some individuals think that advanced
technology
like the internet and cell phones has more troubles than its benefits. Honestly, it is a challenging topic but I agree with this
idea.
There are many reasons to establish the existence of technology
brings many problems
. First of all, the internet and gadgets involve many families. Many parents have difficulties with monitoring their kids because of their curiosity and adventurous feelings. So, fathers and mothers should know about their surroundings and be updated with new technology
. This
way can help them to know how better way to behave with their kids. In my opinion, parents and teachers in school must have a wide variety of knowledge to teach them about the destructive effects of using networks and other devices.
Another drawback of the network and mobile phones is related to financial issues especially hacking and phishing by anonymous persons. Many hackers try to access any devices to get private information from people such
as passwords of credit cards, dates of birth, names and other data. This
can help them to take money from their bank accounts. Another negative point of the internet is providing a fraudulent atmosphere for offenders. For example
, they can copy a signature from a person and use it in different ways. The next side effect is making people addicted to using smartphones. Mental health problems
are one of the results involving cellphones
.
In a nutshell, some humans believe that not only the modern Correct your spelling
cell phones
technology
not have positive points but it also
creates many problems
for people like family issues, and financial problems
which make it hard situation for individuals to solve them.Submitted by brightstargalaxy on
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task achievement
Expand on your points with more detailed explanations and examples. This will help to develop your arguments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. This will also improve the coherence and logical flow of your essay.
general
Avoid grammatical mistakes and improve sentence structure for a clearer and more professional tone. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the key points more effectively and clearly reiterating your stance on the issue.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, addressing the issue of modern technology and its potential problems.
task achievement
You successfully highlight key issues such as family monitoring, online security threats, and addiction, which are relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized into clear paragraphs with a logical progression of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.