People work because they need money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above opinion? What are some other reasons that people work?
It is often believed that
money
is the main reason why people do jobs or establish own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
business
. In my opinion, I agree that Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
money
is necessary for a comfortable life
and there are two other factors that motivate some to work
regularly.
I agree that money
is the most crucial thing in one
's life
and without money
, no one
can lead a decent lifestyle. In other words
, in every society in order to get any products or services, one
has to pay his or her bills in the form of money
, even the most basic needs of human beings such
as food, clothes, education
require Correct word choice
and education
money
. For instance
, in underdeveloped countries
children Add a comma
countries,
started
to Wrong verb form
start
work
at a very early age so that they can support their family financially.
One
reason why people like to work
is that they want to explore their capacity
through work
experience. To put it another way, they prefer to do something special in their life
for themselves and their family. For example
, most primary female teachers in my country are married to a well-establish
man and they do not need to Correct your spelling
well-established
work
for money
but they do this
to spend their time productively and utilized
their degree properly. Wrong verb form
utilise
Finally
, another reason why many people work
because
they find enjoyment in their Add a missing verb
is because
work
. So, rather than earning a huge amount of money
, they spend a lot of time at their job simply because they really enjoy it. Elon Musk, for instance
, spends fourteen hours every day in his office due to
the satisfaction he gets from his work
.
To conclude
, I think earning money
is the key factor for one
to be employed, however
, doing something meaningful in life
as well as
job satisfaction are also
two factors that can not be ignored.Submitted by moulvibazarhexas on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position that money is a necessary motivation for work and introduces additional reasons why people work. However, the elaboration on some points, such as the 'exploring capacity' argument, could benefit from clearer explanations and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure, flowing naturally from one point to another. Nevertheless, some paragraphs could be better developed to strengthen your argument further. For example, more detailed explanations and examples could be included in the first body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear start and end to the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, which adds strength to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.