IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #car-free #air #pollution
There are some controversial perspectives heating up a debate over reducing
air
pollution
.
While
 some claim that
days
 without using cars is a far-reaching solution, the opposite makes a statement that there are more effective ways to handle
this
 severe problem.
While
 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, one way to address
air
pollution
 is to cease driving cars.
This
 is because the majority of
air
pollution
 is caused by automobiles. To be more precise, people currently mostly use vehicles to go around the city, and
this
 mode of transportation emits a large quantity of carbon dioxide into the environment, polluting the
air
. To alleviate
this
 dire scenario, individuals must have more car-free
days
 in their everyday lives and be encouraged to adopt environmentally friendly modes of transportation,
such
 as Vingroup's VF8 electric automobiles.
As a result
, in order to minimize
air
pollution
, it is critical that people should stop driving.
While
 the benefit of car-free
days
 is widely acknowledged, there are more effective approaches to
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
air
quality
. One of the biggest causes of the decline in
air
quality
 may be
due to
 some companies, which release tons of carbon footprints into the environment
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
. To reduce emissions in these factories, the government must move quickly by pushing them to use more renewable materials
such
 as solar energy, wind energy or nuclear energy that can be recycled in order to avoid CO2 emissions.
Hence
, more effective methods may be used to safeguard natural
air
quality
. In conclusion, car-free
days
 can be noted as an effective strategy to reduce
air
pollution
;
however
, alternative measures may
also
 help to protect
air
quality
,
such
 as decreasing carbon footprints for certain companies.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task response
To enhance task response, try to provide more specific examples and statistics where possible. For instance, include real data on the impact of car-free days and renewable energy usage. This would make your arguments more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen coherence and cohesion by using more transitional phrases and linking words. This could improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and clearly shape the overall structure of your essay. It provides a clear stance on the issue while recognizing the merits of both perspectives.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are predominantly clear and comprehensive. You effectively balance the discussion by covering both viewpoints, ultimately concluding with a well-reasoned opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
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