IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #protect #difference #environment
A debatable argument is whether individuals do not safeguard make distinguishment or they are capable of doing that. The author of
this
 essay holds a belief that human actions can make the
environment
 change positively, despite those who argue against it. It is acknowledged that many a little makes a mickle. Doing small-scale actions leads to affirmative results.
For instance
, using bicycles daily per person can reduce a tremendous amount of personal carbon footprints released,
hence
, air quality can be enhanced.
Also
, the governments should create legislation banning products which are made of plastic,
instead
, encourage citizens to utilize eco-friendly materials
such
 as paper.
As a result
, the vegetation, flora and fauna can be protected and there is no need to spend money on conservating them.
However
, it is said that human acts create insignificant alterations. They thought that even when substantial resources and efforts are dedicated to environmental conservation, the condition continues to deteriorate and become polluted.
This
 is true in some cases but if folks do not protect the
environment
, the situation will be much worse than it already is. By preserving the surroundings, fewer fatal disasters will occur around the world. The writer’s opinion advocates that individuals must take action to safeguard the
environment
. It is undeniable that
humans
 depend heavily on the
environment
. Everything around individuals is from the
environment
,
such
 as food, air, water and so on. If there is something wrong that affects the
environment
 negatively,
humans
 are the ones who will be affected.
Therefore
, folks must preserve
this
 planet and everything on it because once it is destroyed,
humans
 have no place to live yet. All in all, folks’ actions can alter the
environment
 even though it is small but it is better than nothing is done.The author believes
humans
 can protect the
environment
 and preserve it, despite those saying it is worthless.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay presents a balanced discussion of both views on whether individuals can make a difference in protecting the environment. However, the clarity of your arguments could be improved. Sometimes your points are not fully fleshed out, which makes them less convincing.
relevant specific examples
Ensure that your examples are more specific and directly support your arguments. For example, you mention the use of bicycles and banning plastic products, but you could provide more detail on how these measures impact the environment specifically.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction that sets the context, body paragraphs that discuss both sides of the argument, and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well defined and clearly present your main argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: