Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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day and age, many people believe that it is beneficial to share information widely in scientific research, business and the academic field.
However
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, others suppose that some data is too precious and sensitive to be publicized. I am going to discuss both these arguments in the following essay and state why I side with the latter. There are several benefits to disclosing information in leading aspects
such
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as science, business and the academic field, with the most prominent one being that it could contribute to the
overall
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development of the world. Simply put, by lifting the restriction of sharing knowledge,
society
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will have easy access to research and formulas that they need for their purposes and ultimately contribute to the development of
society
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as a whole.
For example
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, doctors can learn from other leading doctors in their field and perform sophisticated procedures
such
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as replacing spinal cords to cure patients.
Conversely
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, openly sharing sensitive knowledge could bring about detrimental effects on
society
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, especially when it falls into the hands of people with malicious intentions.
This
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is because these individuals could weaponize scientific results that are supposed to benefit our civilization and turn them into tools to spread civil unrest and chaos.
For instance
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, many Al-Qaeda terrorists are caught crafting bombs to attack important places and politicians with the aim of destabilizing a country.
Moreover
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, publicizing businesses’ financial status could
also
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negatively affect investors as many individuals could purposely misguide the public to harm a business.
Thus
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, I believe some data is simply too strategically crucial to be disclosed widely. In conclusion, sharing information could lead to the
overall
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improvement of our
society
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, but
also
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open the gate for potential civil unrest and chaos.
Hence
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, I support the idea that there should be some restrictions on sharing valuable scientific and academic research,
as well as
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businesses’ financial status.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or elaborating on existing ones to strengthen your arguments and provide a clearer picture to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address both sides of the argument in detail, as the essay could benefit from a more balanced exploration of each viewpoint.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
You have used relevant vocabulary and phrases, demonstrating a good command of language suitable for the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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