Write a letter to the transport officer about a problem with transport system in your area. Describe a situation you are facing Why do you consider it a problem What changes would you like to recommend

Dear Sir or Madam, I am Kiranpreet Kaur residing in the city of Surrey since 2021. The reason I am writing to you is about the difficulties faced by travellers who use The Translink services.
To begin
with,
due to
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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population of the city, it is becoming difficult to see a bus or skytrain which is not crowded. The transportation
system
of our area is not keeping up with the pace of the growth of our community. The pressure on our
system
can be noticed when we have to travel in the buses. The
system
is already broken because people get late to their work or school when they commute by
buses
Fix the agreement mistake
bus
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or
trains
Fix the agreement mistake
train
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. They have to travel without a seat which
make
Change the verb form
makes
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them feel so tired
while
coming home from work and frustrated with the situation of the services. So, people usually express
this
kind of dissatisfaction which is compelling
this
system
to change. To resolve
this
problem, there is a need to introduce more routes to reduce the pressure built up on a limited service.
Besides
this
, distant areas of the city should be connected to the downtown to improve accessibility. I hope these suggestions will help you to improve the services. Yours faithfully, Kiranpreet Kaur
Submitted by Kiran on

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coherence cohesion
Your letter contains a clear greeting and closing, which is great. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity.
task achievement
While you addressed the issue well, adding a few more specific details about how this problem affects different groups of people (like students, elderly) could improve your response.
task achievement
The letter is polite and maintains a suitable tone throughout, which adds to its effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is mostly well-maintained, making it easy to follow the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Clear and effective greeting and closing enhance the overall professionalism of the letter.
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