Some people think that only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

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Some people believe that financial
success
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is a good measure to reflect the accomplishment of any
person
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in their business. Admittedly, monetary accomplishment is one of the major
factors
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that need to be considered to evaluate
success
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.
This
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essay discusses some other important
factors
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to assess a successful occupation.
To begin
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, money is the gravest factor that almost all people give major attention to. In terms of employees, the most important index that almost all types of staff care about is a range of earnings.
In particular
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, workforces want to receive higher incomes,
such
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as overtime bonuses, holiday pay multipliers and sales commissions, these help them easily cover their basic demands.
For example
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, some good corporations have recruited workforces with top-notch quality in the recruitment market by providing a higher-paid package and better welfare. Regarding venture investors, any shareholders expect to receive enormous earnings
due to
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they need
this
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cash flow to pay for monthly operating expenditures, expand their business scale and occupy a higher percentage of market shares. Practically, if an enterprise does not have a healthy financial condition, it cannot provide useful products and services to cater for its customers and supply its staff an appropriate living standards.
For example
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, take any non-profit organization as an example, it cannot sustain its activities that bring communal benefits to the surrounding communities if it has a low marginal business.
Nevertheless
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, there are many indicators to convict the successful extent of any
person
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.
Firstly
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, the number of new customers and the consumer retention rate might be the foremost indicators
to conclude
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the achievement of any member.
For instance
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, if a sales teller sold the available products to their new clients, the company affinity would be wide-spreading, which would bring lucrative earnings in the future from the potential loyal customers.
Secondly
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, job satisfaction in the workplace and workmates are the major
factors
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in calculating the fulfilment of any staff.
Then
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, these
factors
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have a tight connection with their emotion, which directly influences their productivity.
Hence
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, job satisfaction is the essential section when someone considers the
success
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of any
person
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. To summarize, monetary achievement is one of the true indicators to assess the
success
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of any
person
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.
However
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, job satisfaction and customer accomplishment are never removed when calculating
this
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extent.
Therefore
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, finance is the most important indication for most people,
while
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there are other critical ones that need to be considered.
Submitted by lenam2k1 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to refine and polish certain phrases and sentences for better clarity. Ensure consistency in word choice and avoid redundancy in terms such as 'number of customers' and 'consumer retention rate,' which essentially portray similar ideas.
task achievement
Though the essay responds comprehensively to the task, make sure all arguments are elaborated and supported equally. Some points, such as the recruitment market example, could be explained more thoroughly. This helps in substantiating main ideas with relevant examples.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and well-rounded response to the task question by discussing both monetary success and other forms of success in a business context.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow the writer’s points and understand the argument being made.
relevant specific examples
Good use of specific examples, like the recruitment market and non-profit organizations, helps illustrate points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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